So, your toddler has been calling out for your attention for hours. Now you have the upper hand, now you have found a toy that captures their attention, and it is time for you to chill out. Next thing you know, you have a toy hurtling toward your head. You don’t react quickly enough (you are probably tired), and it lands directly on your face with aplomb. Rage engulfs you, so you take a few seconds to calm down. Why did that happen? Why do toddlers throw things? In this post, I will give you 5 reasons why and 5 things you can do about it!
PS – giving your toddler soft toys is not the only way around it, and you can’t simply blame the terrible twos!
For the sake of your face and the things in your home, we need to figure out why you have a toddler throwing things. Here are 5 common reasons why.
Developing Motor Skills
Fine motor skills are the movements of smaller muscles used to pick things up, grip things, twiddle things between your thumb and forefinger, and hurl a heavy plastic object toward a parent’s head.
Your toddler needs to develop these and needs to practice:
Picking things up
Putting things down
Writing
…and more
Ok – so throwing things isn’t technically fine motor skills; they are practicing gross motor skills. However, letting go of the object is practicing fine motor skills.
Nope. But, you need to sit them down and explain how wrong it is. Use examples like:
‘Imagine if someone threw something and it hit you on the head, would it hurt?’
Give your toddler a real-life working example of why it is wrong to throw things at people.
Deal With Any Anger Issues
If your toddler is angry, then you need to learn how to deal with it.
Teach your toddler how to deal with anger issues correctly, such as explaining to them that they need to tell you WHY they are angry.
You MUST listen to their answer and give them a good reason why you did what you did.
Sometimes you are going to do something that your toddler will not like; it is unavoidable. Whilst it doesn’t seem right to explain yourself to a toddler, it does help.
Don’t forget about the terrible twos! If your 2-year-old is throwing things when angry, then your toddler may still be going through this phase.
Follow Usual Punishment Routine
If you have survived parenting to the toddler years, you must have a punishment routine in place. If you haven’t, then you should implement one ASAP.
The most important part of the punishment is that you MUST follow through on all threats. Toddlers will smell your weakness.
Recently, I was in an airport on my way to vacation, and I overheard an argument between a toddler and a parent. I heard the parent threaten:
‘If you carry on, we will not be going on vacation’
Ok, let’s face reality here. You are through security, and you are waiting in the departure lounge. Your luggage is on the way to the plane. Clearly, you are NOT going to cancel the vacation. Why threaten your toddler with something you are 100% NOT going to carry out?
What happens? Your toddler keeps playing up, and you do not cancel the vacation. What does your toddler learn? Your threats are empty.
You MUST follow up on punishments.
Teach By Example
Don’t want your toddler arguing? Then you stop arguing.
Don’t you want your toddler swearing? Then you stop swearing.
Don’t you want your toddler getting angry? Then you calm down.
Don’t want your toddler throwing things? Then you stop throwing things.
Teach your toddler by example. Simple.
Control Throwing
Why do toddlers throw things? Because it is fun. If your toddler throws toys instead of playing, then make throwing fun!
If you can get your toddler throwing things as part of a game, and not at you, then you have won, right?
Why not get your toddler a throwing game? By controlling what they throw, you are letting them practice the skills they need. Something like this basketball hoop is perfect:
Yes, throwing is something that you can expect during the terrible twos, amongst a whole host of other things! The terrible two’s is a rough part of any parent’s life, but you will get through it. Stay strong.
Is it normal for toddlers to throw things?
Yes – toddlers throw things for a number of different reasons. If it is because they find it fun, or are simply practicing some skills, then why not buy them a throwing game like a basketball hoop. If it is because they are angry, then you will need to deal with your toddler’s anger issues.
How do I stop my toddler from throwing things when angry?
If your toddler is throwing things because they are angry then you need to address the reasons why they are angry. Ask your toddler, and listen to their response. You are always going to do things that will annoy your toddler, and sometimes simply giving reasons why you are doing something is enough to placate your toddler. Other times, it is not. But, you have to do what you need to do, right?
Conclusion
Why do toddlers throw things? The answer is not easy, but I have given you 5 of the most common reasons on this page.
If your toddler has a throwing habit that is getting too much, you will need to take them down the punishment route, especially if they do not listen to your requests to stop it.
Getting your toddler to listen can be a real struggle, but it is not impossible. It takes time, practice, and a lot of patience!
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