Coping With Father Frustration During The Newborn Phase

coping with newborn father frustration

Newborn dads go through a gamut of emotions before and after the arrival of a child. It’s not easy for a man to see the woman he loves screaming in pain and writhing in agony.

Trust me, I know!

However, everything changes and the world seems a far happier place when eyes catch sight of those tiny hands and little feet. For a new father, this cycle that traverses through emotions, such as happiness, joy, frustration, exhaustion, hope, fear, etc., never ends. There are days when fathers feel ecstatic, and then, there are also days when the newborn father frustration reaches its zenith.

Most fathers find it challenging to deal with this frustration on an each-day basis. We assure you that if you are a dad frustrated with your newborn, you will be in a better position to deal with your emotions by the time you have reached the end of this article.

Newborn Father Frustration? Here’s What You Need To Know And Do.

dad frustrated with newborn tips
If you are a dad who is dealing with some frustration with your newborn then follow these tips

1. You Can’t Control a Newborn

New dads, here’s the first thing you need to know: you can’t control a newborn.

You may have baby-proofed your apartment, but your newborn will still find a way to get out. You may spend hours and days trying to align their sleeping schedule with yours, but they will still get up at 3 a.m. and demand your attention. They will grunt, cry, poop, and pee around the house.

If you are a dad frustrated with a newborn child, stop trying to control an infant.

Instead, learn to laugh at and laugh with them when they do things you find stupid.


2. Learn to Comfort Your Child

Learn some skills that will make your life easier.

To make your baby feel secure, learn to swaddle them in a blanket. Once you have fed them, hold them in your arms and turn their body on the left side. This exercise helps with digestion. Find a sound or music that calms your newborn child and use it when nothing else works.

Walk them in a body carrier or learn to comfort them in a baby rocker. If you want to soothe your child, the first thing you must do is connect with them. These small skills will allow you to connect better with your child.


3. Admit You Are Struggling

Parenting is an art and a skillset that people develop over time.

People aren’t born parents; they learn to be parents. Fatherhood is an acquired skill set. It is, thus, entirely okay if you are struggling to be a father. You will learn all the tricks you will need up your sleeves, but this won’t happen in a day.

Once you accept you are struggling, you will be more open to seeking advice and help from others.


4. Ask for Advice

Here’s a crucial tip: ask for advice. There is nothing wrong with it.

Speak with fathers and mothers of other newborns. Remember all of you are in the same boat and therefore, hold great potential to make each others’ lives better. Seek help and provide it too.

Talking to grandparents is another good idea. They have already been through the journey you are just starting. Grandparents can give great tips and suggestions.

Basically, reach out to someone… anyone!


5. Be Prepared

All new dads, here’s another thing you must remember: always be prepared.

This essentially means you must have everything you might need while dealing with a newborn child. Pacifiers, teethers, food, diapers, bibs, blankets, and baby wipes should be within a hand’s reach.

You must know clearly where the bottles and extra clothes are.

Always stock up on medicines prescribed by your baby’s doctor and have a few emergency numbers by your side in case you need help.


6. Learn Your Newborn’s Routines

Newborns have their routine.

They sleep up to 20 hours a day and may decide to wake up at 4 a.m. Nothing you can do will change this…sad face.

Newborn father frustration arises when new dads attempt to change their child’s routine, which is a futile exercise.

Babies decide when they want to sleep, eat, and play. As a new dad, all you can do is learn these routines and try and work your way around them. You will have to wait for your baby to grow at least a few months old before you can begin to condition him into a routine that compliments yours.

Until then, let the baby rule.


7. Leave the Room

This advice may seem like a horrible thing to do, but it is not. When you are in the thick of things, it becomes easier for emotions to disarm you of logic completely. This can lead to repercussions and actions you may regret later.

When you feel frustrated, the best thing to do is to remove yourself from the situation and gather your thoughts. You will come back with a peaceful and calm mind and will be in a better position to deal with your baby.


8. Blow off Some Steam

Here is the most essential advice you will ever get: find some time to blow off the steam.

Dealing with a newborn is exhausting and can take a toll on your mental and physical health. It is, thus, crucial that all new parents take some time off to blow off the steam. Take a short vacation or maybe go out on an hour-long date with your partner.

Reach out to your parents and friends and ask them to babysit your child while you are away. Make a routine: once or twice a week, step out with your friends and do something that relaxes you.

Your partner can look after the child while you are taking a break. However, once you feel mentally rejuvenated, help your partner do the same.


Conclusion

Few things change a man’s life as much as becoming a father. It’s daunting to be wholly responsible for someone’s else life. Raising a child isn’t easy.

As a father, you will always be switching between hope and fear and happiness and maybe some sadness too.

When you are a parent, good and bad days will follow each other.

However, one thing can be said with certainty, and it’s this:

there is no better joy than watching your child grow before your eyes.

So, enjoy it while it lasts.

10 Essential Newborn Baby Tips For Dads

newborn baby tips for dads

You are not simply bringing a child into this world. This is your legacy, your gift to the world. But, what the hell do you do with a newborn? What do they need? Here, I take a look at 10 100% essential newborn baby tips for Dads.

Being a Dad to a newborn can be overwhelming. The stress levels are high, the focus on you is intense, and money seems to fall out of your wallet for new baby equipment you didn’t even know existed!

Take a deep breath, because I have you covered here with tips that I wish I knew before I started this journey…


10 Newborn Baby Tips For Dad

10 newborn baby tips for new dads
Here are the top 10 newborn baby tips for all you new Dads!

Learn What Do Do When The Baby Is Crying

One of the biggest concerns for any new Father is knowing what to do when your baby cries.

Some guys will just hand the kid back over, but that isn’t the way you should play it. Especially if you want a close bond with your newborn.

Babies cry for lots of different reasons:

  • Hungry
  • Uncomfortable (Full diaper for instance)
  • Scared
  • Tired
  • In Pain
  • Bored
  • …lots more reasons no-one will ever know about!

Your job is to figure out how you need to act in every one of those situations. Then, when your newborn cries you can cycle through each of the responses until you get it right.

Obviously, if your baby is crying, the first question should be ‘when did they last eat‘. Most of the time, you will have the reasons straight after.

They are hungry, go feed them!

Next up, check their diaper is not full up. Babies get cranky if they are uncomfortable.


Think Routines

One of the biggest tips I can give any new Dad is to put together a number of routines.

You should have a routine for:

  • Feeding
  • Sleeping
  • Leaving The House

Creating a routine will give your newborn a sense of what to expect. They have eyes, and they will begin to notice patterns in your behavior. Us humans love a pattern, right?

People look for patterns! Even babies!

If your newborn is hungry or tired, and they see you kicking off the ‘feeding routine’ then it may placate them for a few minutes. Good luck with that!


Know Where Everything Is

Know where all of the following items are:

  • Baby clothes
  • Diapers
  • Blankets
  • Medicine
  • Pacifiers
  • Baby wipes
  • Diaper bags
  • Stroller
  • Feeding equipment

When your baby is crying because they are hungry or dirty, the last thing you want to do is add extra stress into your home by shouting requests to Mom because you can’t find what you are looking for!

Being organized is a key life skill and one that should be practiced until it becomes second nature. Trust me, I am still practicing… 


Hold Your Newborn Close

If you are like me then you will want to build a strong, early bond with your newborn. You can do this by holding your newborn close to you.

That may be some Father and baby skin to skin time, feeding, sleeping, or just simply taking a walk.

Hold your newborn close so they become used to you.

Check out some awesome (and affordable) baby carries, the two options are carriers or slings. Both options will help to create a good bond.


Learn Cleanliness (For The Newborn Equipment)

Whether your baby is breastfed or is fed with formula, you are certain to use feeding equipment. This is especially trued if Mom plays to express milk so you can feed your newborn at night too!

Learn what equipment needs to be sterilized and how to do it. Babies are fresh out of the womb and are prone to illness. Sterilizing their feeding equipment will limit the chances of them picking up a nasty bug.

I recommend the Philips AVENT Microwave Steam Sterilizer because it is cheap, effective, and simple to use!


Calm Yourself

There are 3 things in life that are certain. Death, taxes, and your kid making you angry!

If you have a short fuse then now is the time to put some steps in place to rectify that.

Do whatever it takes, take yoga classes, go and speak to someone, or learn to walk away for a few minutes to calm down (huge tip)!

Kids will get on your nerves, they will push your buttons. You are the grown-up, and they will learn from you.

Don’t teach them to be angry! It only makes them angry…


Learn Warning Signs For Sickness

I mentioned above that newborns are prone to picking up an illness. It is because they are no longer protected in the womb, and their immune system has not had a chance to build up immunity from outside viruses/bacteria.

I suggest that you learn some of the warning signs of the real big illnesses that your newborn could pick up.

Sure, they will get the sick bug, they will pick up a cold, but it is the big hitters that you need to be aware of.

I am talking about life-Threatening health issues here. I won’t pretend to know how to fix them, but I thoroughly recommend you read this article on the symptoms to watch out for during the baby and toddler years.


Learn Some Newborn First Aid

Get yourself along to a newborn first aid course. I attended one before the birth of my Son. It gave me confidence that I know what to do in the event of an emergency.

Without some basic newborn first aid knowledge, you are riding your luck!

What would you do if your child is choking? How about if they stopped breathing?

You can read as many articles as you want, but they will not teach you as much as you would learn by attending an infant first aid course.


Practice – Car Seat/Stroller

Practice makes perfect. When you are picking up Mom and newborn from the hospital, you want to slip the car seat into the car like a boss.

Now is the time to practice this, and now is also the time to practice putting the car seat on top of the stroller, folding the stroller, and fitting it into your car.


Know Feeding Process

How often do you need to feed your baby? When was the last time they were fed?

How do you even feed a baby?

Mom is born with some natural help with this problem, but we guys are not. We have to learn.

If you are breastfeeding, then Mom will obviously do most of the work. Breastfeeding does open up the possibility of expressing milk which will allow you to be involved in the feeding process.

Newborn babies can feed up to 12 times every day. After each feed, they will need to be burped (check here for burping instructions)


Newborn Baby Tips For Dads FAQs

  • Can Dads Do Skin-To-Skin? 100% yes! It is something that every new Dad should do, as soon as possible. Simply remove your top and lay your newborn on your chest.
  • Do Babies Know Who Their Dad Is? This is a difficult one to answer! We can only guess that a baby will know their Dad by the sounds of their voice. Once their hearing has developed in the womb, they will be listening to what is going on in the outside world. One of the most common noises they hear and Mom and Dad’s voice. It is likely to be very soothing to them during the early weeks!
  • How Can I Be A Good Father To My Newborn? Care for your child, and show them much love and affection. Be a leader and a rock. Make decisions. Do not take yourself too seriously. Do not be a dictator. Treat everyone with respect. Your child must love you and respect you, not fear you.

Conclusion

If you have memorized these 10 newborn baby tips for Dads, then you are on the path the Fathering greatness!

I must warn you, it is just the start.

Most of what you learn now will not be needed in a few years when it is replaced with stuff you need to know for a toddler, then pre-teenager, then teenager!

Time moves very quickly when you are a parent, so my last advice is this:

Cherish the moments you share with your newborn. They are only this little once. Enjoy the moments when they cannot crawl, or walk. You know where they are, and you know they are not doing something dangerous! This moment does not last long.

Good luck