Pregnancy

Congratulations! You are going to be a new Dad!

Filled with a combination of nerves, and excitement? I know I was.

In this post, I have put together 10 on my best tips for Dad to be during pregnancy! 

You now have what seems like an eternity to prepare for the birth of your Baby.

You don’t – trust me!

When your an expectant Father, you enter a new life where time moves much quicker than it did before. That never stops.

You need to spend that time very wisely!

10 Tips for Dad to be during pregnancy

Ask if you can do anything to help

During a pregnancy, Mom will be in some discomfort. Scratch that, Mom will be in A LOT of discomforts, especially in the 4th trimester. It is your job to see if she needs any help getting things done, or if she needs food or drink.

Basically, become a carer for Mom. You ask, and she demands. You do it. Life is much simpler and this will earn you some serious relationship points.

Do not KEEP asking though

Do not go overboard though. Whilst it is good to ensure that Mom is as comfortable as she can be, it can get frustrating to be asked constantly if you are ok.

If Mom says she is fine, then take that as the answer and get on with something else. We all know that even though Mom says she is fine, she may not be (time for me to duck)…but you have to accept that as the answer.

Let Mom relax

Mom needs to relax, because she is on a journey that ends in a whole world of physical pain, emotional exhaustion, and will test her mental capacity to its limits.

During pregnancy, a big tip for Dads to be is to ensure Mom has everything she needs to relax and chill out from time to time. Stock up on bath salts, massage oil, and all that kind of stuff that Moms like.

Organize Baby stuff

While Mom is relaxing, it is your job to organize the things that the Baby will need when the time comes for childbirth.

A word of warning though, before you order anything, check with Mom.

The list is endless, but take a look my recommended gear for Babies and Toddlers for my personal favorites.

Being organized has some excellent benefits, including reduced stress levels, and better food choices.

Keep the house clean

This is a personal favorite of my wife’s, especially during the latter stages of pregnancy when she was pretty much living as a beached Whale and couldn’t move much. I hope she isn’t reading this. If you are, I am only kidding and you can stop reading now.

She was huge.

Keeping your home clean and tidy is not just Mom’s job, it is yours too. Ensure there is nothing to trip over and everything is put away where it needs to be.

Live clean

Eat clean, and eat well. Give up smoking (if you smoke), and cut down on your alcohol consumption.

Luckily, I gave up smoking many years ago and to be honest, but if you are still addicted to nicotine then talk to a professional about getting some help to quit. You know you smell like a smoker, and with a Mom who has a sense of smell like a Dog, she will appreciate you not smelling like a smoker.

As for drinking, I like to keep a clear head. You never know when you might need to act fast in an emergency. Pregnancy is a worrying time where there are a number of things that can go wrong.

Stay within the limits of your local drink driving laws, just in case you are needed. Personally, I stopped drinking completely when my wife was pregnant, and I haven’t consumed alcohol much since.

Know the warning signs

This is definitely the biggest tip for Dad to be during pregnancy!

Pregnancy, when it goes well, is Mother Nature at her very best. What happens during pregnancy is awe inspiring. The Baby goes from one cell (right at the beginning) to billions of cells, and each one is created with devastating accuracy!

Unfortunately, pregnancy does not always go according to plan. Sometimes Mother Nature gets it wrong and mistimes a beat in the worlds greatest orchestra. That can have devastating consequences.

During my wife’s pregnancy, I took it upon myself to learn a number of danger signs that I should be looking out for.

You know that pregnancy can go wrong, and you now need to watch carefully so you can pick up on any issues quickly. If you spot a warning sign, or something is happening that you are concerned about, do not hesitate.

Call a medical professional immediately so they can put your mind at rest, or deal with it.

Prepare your home

Prep your home for the arrival of your new Baby. Ok, so you have organized the equipment that the Baby needs, but have you assembled the crib? Have you decorated the Babies room?

For me, this was one of the most stressful times of the pregnancy. Mostly because I am terrible at DIY, but also because I am TERRIBLE at DIY. I lose things…screws, screwdrivers, bits of wood, basically all the most important parts of the assembly.

Although, it does give you some time to yourself, which is also very important for a Dad during pregnancy.

It is not just the Babies room that you need to prepare. Now is a good time to take a journey around your home to ensure it is safe for a Baby to be in. I am talking here about moving knives out of reach in the kitchen, putting Baby/Toddler proof locks on the drawers and kitchen units.

It will be some time before your Baby is navigating itself around your home but you have time now, you may not have time again.

Know each pregnancy stage

I have put together a more detailed post for what a Dad should expect during each stage of pregnancy In there you will find out what Mom is going through, how the Baby is developing, and what is expected from you at each stage.

Forewarned is forearmed, so it is well worth you checking out that post in more detail.

Arm yourself with childbirth knowledge

Just after you learn about what to expect during pregnancy, you need to learn what is about to happen during childbirth. This is especially true if you are going to be a Father for the first time!

During childbirth, things can happen very quickly, so it is a top idea to arm yourself with knowledge. After all, knowledge is power!

While you are learning about childbirth, it is time to start thinking about what a Dad will need to help him survive the hospital. It is time to prepare your new Daddy hospital survival kit. From the 35-week pregnancy mark, always ensure your hospital survival kit is in the car, all ready for you get to go when the time comes.

Conclusion

Above are the 10 tips for Dad to be during pregnancy. Ultimately, as the host of the unborn child, Mom needs to be at the forefront of your thoughts.

Put yourself in Mom’s position (without the huge belly overhang – if you are lucky), and think about what you would need.

• Reassurance
• Someone who deals with things
• Comfort

You have to enjoy the ride too, but you must be selfless in almost everything that you do. If Mom is the one who usually deals with things in the house, it might be a power struggle to get her to take a backseat. Dad needs to step up during pregnancy if he is not already dealing with things.

Remember to take some time for yourself as well, or you may hit the wall and burn out pretty quickly.

Good luck!

So, you are going to be a Dad. Congratulation!

Now is the time to begin preparations. It is a steep learning curve, and one fraught with danger and stress…

In this post, I am going to guide you through each trimester so you know what to expect!

Now, if you are going to be a first time Dad, there are some things you need to know about the pregnancy.

Scratch that, there are LOADS of things you need to know about pregnancy.

Before you prepare yourself for the childbirth, new Dads, you need to have a rundown on what you should expect from each trimester of the pregnancy!

luckily for you, I have you covered with this post!

In this article, I am going to cover what a trimester is and what you can expect from your partner during each trimester, along with a brief description on what the baby is up to during their time in the womb.

I will also give you some pointers on what is expected of a Dad during each of the trimesters and throughout the entire pregnancy!

New Dad Pregnancy Guide – Quick Links

• What Is A Trimester?
• 1st Trimester
• 2nd Trimester
• 3rd Trimester
• Conclusion

What Is A Trimester?

TLDR – The time a pregnancy is due to last is 40 weeks, it is split into 3 parts. Each part is called a trimester.

Want to know more? Read on!

1st Trimester – Weeks 0-12

The first 12 weeks of a pregnancy is called the 1st trimester. The first few weeks, your partner is not actually pregnant at all.

Then the magic happens, and you conceive. Within the first month, the fertilized egg embeds into the womb and her body is transformed into a child-bearing machine.

Get your head around that.

The riskiest trimester, the first 12 weeks can be a worrying time, as the ball of cells is expanding rapidly. Every single change needs to be perfectly executed in a timely manner by Nature!

There is a reason why many couples decide not to announce a pregnancy until the beginning of the 2nd trimester. Statistically, 1 in 5 pregnancies does not get past this time.

It is a sad fact of life, and something you need to be aware of.

Unless there have been any complications, your first scan will be booked in at the end of the 1st trimester.

I recommend waiting until after your first scan to announce the pregnancy. Unfortunately, we learned that the hard way.

What You Should Expect In The 1st Trimester

A sudden rush of hormones may kick-start the dreaded morning sickness. Your partner’s body will be working overtime to prepare it for hosting a kid, this will result in huge internal changes.

Indigestion, cramp, and stress are very common in this trimester, so keep an eye on her.

Tempers may be frayed during the 1st trimester, due to a combination of an increase in hormone levels, worry, excitement and you leaving the toilet seat up again.

What Is Expected From A Dad In The 1st Trimester

The important thing is that you stay cool for reassurance.

During the 1st trimester, your job is to research how the baby is developing. When you know the answers, you can field any questions! You can also participate in the relentless conversations about ‘what the baby is growing now’.

Give assurances that you are up to the task by kicking off discussions about where the baby is going to sleep and what items you need to think about buying after the first scan.

There is a danger that the excitement will be too much and you will both want to tell everyone as soon as possible! Try not to, just in case. Try to wait for the 2nd trimester for that.

One last thing for the 1st trimester. All of those things that have caused a bit of conflict before she was pregnant need to be remembered.

If your partner is anything like my Wife, the reaction would have been completely out of proportion to the cause. Now, times that reaction by 5…..7….10!

That is what you are trying to avoid at a time when she will need to remain as calm as possible. Remember what caused conflict before, and just toe the line.

Put the toilet seat down, make sure you tidy up and don’t leave the basin full of your facial hair after a shave!

Reduced stress = a calm Mother, a chilled out Dad and a relaxing atmosphere for a child to be created in!

What Is The Baby Doing In The 1st Trimester?

The first couple of weeks of the 1st trimester, the baby is living two separate lives….one as sperm and one as an egg.

Then, after conception, it needs to travel from a fallopian tube up to the womb, where it will live for the next 38(ish) weeks.

It starts off as two cells, the multiplies again, and again and again…..

During the 1st trimester, your baby will go through a whole world of change! The important week is the 10th because that is when most of the really critical stuff is finished.

You can breathe a sigh of relief at the 10 weeks mark because the chances of success increase substantially!

Hands and feet begin to emerge from the fish-like embryo, a heart is created and begins to beat.

Towards the end of the 1st trimester, your baby will be able to move limbs (development of hands and feet has also begun) at will and it takes the shape of a human, instead of a fish-like creature!

2nd Trimester – Weeks 13-27

This is the magic middle trimester, the time when your partner may show signs of her previous self! She will now be familiar with the surge in hormones and her body is used to hosting a rapidly growing fetus.

There are still times when you are likely to upset her, by saying something wrong, doing something wrong or breathing too loudly.

Now that you are out of the 1st trimester, it is a good time to begin the process of emptying your wallet in various stores to buy flatpack furniture that will test your patience.

Also – this is the time when you can find out the sex of the baby!

When my Wife was pregnant, we both agreed that finding out was logically a great idea. It makes planning so much easier. Many people choose not to find out the sex, and that is cool too.

Just make sure you both agree on whether you want to find out or not.

What You Should Expect In The 2nd Trimester

Spending money, decorating your babies room, spending money, being on the back-foot in all arguments and spending money.

You will have a scan at around the 20-week mark. This is a scan to check your baby is cool. During this scan, the sonographer will spend a lot of time checking the babies heart to make sure it is developing well.

Towards the end of the trimester, you may begin to notice your partner ‘nesting’. Nesting is a process where they spend a lot of their time preparing your house for arrival.

You may notice things being moved about and put into storage for no obvious reason. It makes sense to them, and if you need to question a choice, tread very carefully!

Your baby will make themselves well known during the 2nd trimester! Your partner may get butterfly-like flutters from her womb, this is your baby saying ‘Hi’.

As they get bigger, the movements become more obvious and you can feel movement and kicks though her baby bump!

In short – hormones level out, energy returns, sickness (hopefully) disappears and you even get a small glimpse of the sex life you once had.

Do not quote me on that!

What Is Expected From A Dad In The 2nd Trimester

Enjoy the 2nd trimester! It is by far the easiest, both for the Mother and Father.

The magic that is going on with creating this new baby is totally immense!

This is the trimester where your baby morphs from a weird, alien looking creature into something that closely resembles a human.

During the 2nd trimester, your wallet will be hit pretty hard, with all of the things you will need to welcome your new baby into this world.

Get used to erecting (easy) flatpack furniture and get used to shopping for baby goods.

Your partner’s energy levels are likely to rocket during this phase so you will need to make sure you keep up! Fear not though, you can have a rest in the final trimester! It may be the last rest you get as a human being……..

What Is The Baby Doing In The 2nd Trimester?

Now your baby has entered the 2nd trimester, it is time to start developing and using facial muscles.

At around 15 weeks, your partner might feel a little flutter, which is the baby moving around! It is now getting big enough to feel.

Your baby will start to hear for the first time, so watch the language! It is actually a great time to read them their first story, or maybe lay down some house rules. They will learn to know your voice and when they are born, it is much easier to sooth them!

Baby fat will form beneath their see-through skin and they will even start breathing in the amniotic fluid! It is good practice for when they first get some air.

Towards the end of the 2nd trimester, they will open their eyes and take a look at their first home. There won’t be much to see…..a womb….some legs…..but it will still be new for them.

3rd Trimester – Weeks 28-40

The 3rd trimester is the final months of pregnancy. It is a time for waiting, more spending and more checkups!

Your partner will become a giant and will have a solid pregnancy waddle.

Joking about how big they are is frowned upon in this trimester, just saying.

Very occasionally, you will notice the baby bump move around as the baby changes position, or gives you a good kick.

What You Should Expect In The 3rd Trimester

The baby is now taking up a great deal of space, and this is putting pressure on other parts of the anatomy, namely, the bladder.

Wherever you go, make sure you are near a toilet, because it becomes a woman’s best friend as she barrels through the last trimester.

Nesting is hotting up now and you may start to panic that you are not prepared, stay cool! You got this.

In this period, you need to be keeping an eye on your babies movement to make sure your partner is feeling it a few times per day.

Any large time period where movement is not felt, get it checked by a medical professional.

I remember during my wives pregnancy, it was around 30 weeks and she had not felt my Son move for over 12 hours.

With a worried look on her face, she suggested calling a Doctor. ‘Hang on’ I said, as I went through to the freezer, took out a packet of frozen peas and placed them on her stomach…she wasn’t expecting it!

She looked shocked, and the peas got a heavy and decisive boot from a very unhappy baby!

Panic over, but I wasn’t popular for a few hours.

Oh – some bad news – this trimester is where her breasts will become very sensitive. They are no longer solely yours.

In short: Leaky breasts, bad back, tiredness, heartburn, and possibly fake contractions. Arguments here are mostly due to tiredness and generally being uncomfortable in their new giant form.

What Is Expected From A Dad In The 3rd Trimester

You are likely to spend most of this time building flatpack furniture, spending money and being there during all of the midwife appointments.

Your partner will be uncomfortable all of the time, and in pain for most of it. It is your job to make her as comfortable as possible during this last phase of pregnancy.

Learn to give a good massage and make sure you have enough bubbles for a relaxing bath…not you, for your partner!

You will also notice a swift reduction in the percentage of bed that you can sleep in. Your partner needs to be comfortable! During the later stages of pregnancy, my Wife found that a pregnancy pillow gave her an awesome nights sleep! It also made regular appearances on the sofa.

The baby will be expanding rapidly, causing all kinds of pains and symptoms, so be there for her as much as you can.

Now is also a great time to prepare for the hospital, familiarise yourself with what to expect from childbirth and work on the birthing plan.

You might also want to book an extra scan for the later part of this trimester.

From 35 weeks onwards, you can get some awesome pictures of the baby in the womb!

We had a scan at 35 weeks and it genuinely looks exactly like my Son! I was very close to using it to verify the identity of the kid they gave us when he was born.

What Is The Baby Doing In The 3rd Trimester?

The 3rd trimester is where the baby just gets bigger and bigger until there is no more room left in the womb, or in your partner’s body!

Something has to give way, that is usually a bladder! Stay close to a toilet.

Your babies bones are getting stronger now and their taste will develop. Finger and toenails are fully formed, as are their kidneys.

A lot of the growth in the 3rd trimester involves putting on more fat underneath their skin (the baby, not your partner). This is preparation to regulate their own temperature outside of the womb.

Towards the end, their lungs are in great working order and are being fully tested with the amniotic fluid.

At 37 weeks, the baby is considered to be full term, which basically means they are ready to come out and make noise.

So much noise.

Eventually, the babies head will move further down, engaging in the cervix ready for birth! Unless they decide to come out feet first. That hurts, by the way.

Conclusion

So there you go, that is a rundown of each of the trimesters for first-time Dads!

The post covers weeks 0 through 40, but what happens if your partner is still pregnant after the 40 weeks? That is officially classed as ‘overdue’.

There are many techniques that clinicians can use to induce the childbirth, and these are usually scattered through weeks 40 to 42.

My Wife went all the way up to week 42 and 3 days before my Son popped out to say ‘Hi’!

Good luck with the pregnancy and good luck with the childbirth!

Feel free to check back to let me know how you got on.

I am always interested to hear the experience of pregnancy from the point of view of other Dads!

You have been given a due date, and this is your first time as an expectant Father. How do you prepare for the final weeks of pregnancy?

Here I will give you a guide on preparing for life after 35 weeks until the birth.

If you are a first time expectant Father, this is what you need to get ready for when you get the call!

35 Weeks Pregnant – Time To Ramp Up The Prep, Future Dad!

You need to ramp up the preparations from 35 weeks onwards. If your childbirth experience is like mine, you will still have 7 weeks to go, but you should still be on DEFCON 3 from 35 weeks.

Hang on, let’s check the DEFCON Levels of Pregnancy:

Expectant Father DEFCON Levels

DEFCON 5 – Your Partner Is Not Pregnant. Normal Peacetime.
DEFCON 4 – Your Partner Is Under 35 Weeks Pregnant*
DEFCON 3 – Prepare For Childbirth – From 35 Weeks.
DEFCON 2 – Childbirth Imminent. Immediate Threat To Peace.
DEFCON 1 – Waters Broken. Peace Time Over.

*An immediate jump from level 4 to 2 or 1 can still happen.

Here we are dealing with Defcon 3.

So as an imminent Father, what do I do?

What Do I Prep As a First Time Expectant Father?

1. Fill Up The Tank
2. Plan Your Route
3. Get The Hospital Bags Ready
4. Practice Baby Changing Skills
5. Learn The Birthing Lingo
6. Arrange Your Work
7. Install Car Seat
8. Check Your Equipment
9. Messaging Groups At The Ready

1. Fill Up The Tank

From 35 weeks, never run on empty! Always make sure you have at least half a tank of fuel.

Pretend the ‘half a tank’ marker it now your ‘completely empty’ marker.

When you get the call – you need to get in your car and get to the hospital.

No messing about trying to fill the car up!

2. Plan Your Route

I am sure you already know this! Having said that, it is worth checking for planned road closures in that area.

You know the route to the hospital, so just make sure it doesn’t need to change!

Have a few routes planned, and get used to a few of the shortcuts, just in case you need to use them.

A few trial runs after 35 weeks is a great idea! You might be very familiar with the route, but it is worth passing by the hospital a few times, just to make sure there are no new signs up, indicating planned road closures.

3. Get The Hospital Bags Ready

Make sure you have your partner’s bag ready, and you have your own hospital survival kit ready.

There are two options here:

1. Put them next to each other near the front door, ready to pick up and go when the time comes.
2. Put them in the car, so you can just up and leave.

It depends on how confident you are that your car will be safe! You do not want your car being broken into on the night before the childbirth…..

In the last few weeks of my wives pregnancy, I put us both in ‘essential travel only’ mode. That basically meant the supermarket and my work.

During those trips, the bags were in the car. When we were at home, I put them back in the spare bedroom!

4. Practice Baby Changing Skills

Maybe you could start this before 35 weeks but now is also a very good time.

If you are not used to changing a kid, get some practice. Have your friends got any kids? Get to their house and learn. When you are given your kid to change for the first time, wouldn’t it be impressive if you get it done like a pro?

Impress your partner and the midwife by changing your kid like a boss!

5. Learn The Birthing Lingo

Some of the words used during the run-up to childbirth might be new to you.

Learning some of the common words used will give you the upper hand and will allow you to understand what is going on.

I gave you a few words with some explanations in my tips for childbirth preparation, but here are some that you may need to know for the last few weeks of pregnancy.

Engaged- Your babies head is in position and he or she is ready to rock and roll.

Colostrum – This is the first stage in the creation of milk. It is everything a newborn needs to eat!

Breech – The baby is in a weird position (feet first), and it is probably going to hurt more. Prepare yourself, and be strong for your partner!

Membrane Sweep – This is something a midwife may do to try and induce childbirth.

Contractions – You probably know this one. This is where your partner’s muscles are contracting to push the baby through the birth canal. They hurt, apparently.

Induce – If you go over 40 weeks, the medical folks might be talking about inducing your partner. This can be achieved a number of ways, but they usually start with a membrane sweep (See above). Here is a warning though, my Wife was induced….and it still took 3 more days!

6. Arrange Your Work

Occasionally, my job takes me a couple of hundred miles away from my family. This happens at least four times per month.

Imagine being 200 miles away (in a meeting) and you get the call!

Preparation is key here, make sure you are close to home by arranging to host or join any meetings via the internet. There are loads of options out there! Telephone conference, video conference…..use technology to keep you close to home.

If you do not have a job where you have to regularly attend meetings – lucky you!

7. Install Car Seat

When it is time to make a dash for the hospital, you do not want to be spending the first few minutes (or 20, if you haven’t read the instructions!) putting the car seat in the car.

Installing the car seat is a very important part of the preparations, and now is an awesome time to get it sorted!

Seriously though, take some time to read and follow the instructions before you put the car seat in. Honestly, they are not difficult to install!

8. Check Your Equipment

I have covered it in the hospital survival kit, but now is the time to check your equipment to make sure you are ready for the birth.

Tablet

Keep it fully charged, make sure you have lots of space on it for photographs/videos. If your tablet can take a memory card, is it time to buy a spare!

Phone

Keep this fully charged and on all the time. Check your space and free some up if you need to, again, for photographs and videos.

Video Camera

You might choose to use a separate recording device for videos. Check your memory cards and keep it fully charged. If you need any more memory cards, now is the time to buy them.

Anything Else

There might be other equipment you are planning to take with you to the hospital, such as a TENS machine or headphones. Make sure they are fully charged (If you have Bluetooth headphones) and you have spare batteries.

9. Messaging Groups At The Ready

Let’s go back 40 years. If a baby was born, loved ones would be told via a phone call. Or maybe a carrier pigeon.

Nowadays, we have a whole variety of tools at our disposal that we can use to convey the good news.

What would I do?

I would set up a group chat, or a recipient list of people who you would like to update, like Grandparents and best friends.

The reason I would set this up is that you need to be enjoying the moment, and your new baby will need the reassurance and comfort of your voice after going through the turmoil of being born. Simply type one message, hit send, put your phone down.

If you are not careful, you will be responding to messages for the next hour!

If you must add it on social media (I wouldn’t), make sure you turn your phone on silent, for the sanity of the new Mother, and anyone else within earshot of your phone.

Now is one of those life moments where you may regret having your nose in your phone, responding to messages from people you haven’t heard from in years.

Conclusion

I hope this helps you prepare for the final few weeks as a first time expectant Father.

Use this time wisely to prep for the big day.

Unfortunately, while you are given an expected date, you can’t be certain when it is going to happen. The only thing you can do is to make sure you are ready to go when the baby is!

Remember:

Failure to prepare is preparing to fail!

Please let me know if you are doing anything else to prepare for childbirth, or if I have missed anything out. Contact us, or leave a comment below.