9 Of My Top Dad Baby Bonding Ideas

Dad baby bonding ideas

Does your Baby not want some awesome Dad time? Are you stuck for some Dad Baby bonding ideas?

When Mom has all the natural things that a Baby needs, how does a Dad bond with his Baby?

Dad is competing with Mother Nature, which will be a huge battle, but one that needs to be won!

In this post, I have 9 awesome ideas that Dad can use to create a lasting bond with his Baby

 


Why Dad Bonding With His Baby Is Important

The lack of a bond between Dad and Baby can lead to Dad thinking he is useless, or unimportant during the early stages of a Babies life. For this reason, it is extremely important to begin Dad Baby bonding as soon as possible.

If Dad feels useless, it could lead to the Baby blues and he may withdraw, causing arguments and friction which the Baby will almost certainly pick up on.

Before I begin, if the Baby is not born yet then NOW is a good time to start bonding! Fathers can begin Baby bonding while he or she is still in the womb. Secondly, the sooner a Dad holds his Baby after being born, the greater the bond will be.

Studies have shown the beginnings of a strong bond when Dads hold their Baby shortly after being born. If the Baby is already born, then take a look at these Dad Baby bonding ideas!

 


9 Dad Baby Bonding Ideas

 


Feeding Time

3 chicks being fed in nest
Feeding time is awesome for some Dad Baby bonding. Baby will know that Dad also has some food-related uses!

As I said above, Dad has some serious competition in the form of Mother Nature. Mom’s have everything that a newborn needs when they are in the womb, and as soon as they are out of the womb.

Dad can step in at this stage and be present during feeds if breastfeeding, spending time with Mom and Baby when feeding is in progress.

The more that Dad is present during feeding, the more the Baby will look to Dad as an important part of that particular process. Just ensure that you are not taking anything away from Mom when you are doing this.

The key point is that you work together to ensure your Baby builds a strong bond with Dad and Mom.

 


Playtime

Batman lego character, playtime
Nothing builds a Dad Baby bond quite like having fun together!

From the early stages of a Childs life, it is very important to start playtime! For a start, it is fun for both Parents and Child. Secondly, studies have shown that regular playtime with Dad improves cognitive development.

Obviously, I am not talking about building lego or playing contact sports here, playtime with Baby is much more gentle!

Great games for Dad Baby playtime are:

  • Peekaboo
  • Dancing (Obviously Dad will need to do all the moves)

Ultimately, playtime will build a strong Dad Baby bond and will improve Babies congative development and will strengthen Babies imagination.

 


Read a book 

Dad reading a book to his Baby
Reading a book together will build an awesome bond!

Studies have shown that Dad reading to Baby will improve language development.

Not only does it improve language development, but it also means the Dad spends more time with Baby and acts to strengthen the bond.

You can go one step further here and read a book that is ABOUT Dad!

These books can be fun and interesting to read. Take a book called The Dinosaur That Pooped Daddy for example. This book has some awesome pictures and is very funny. When Daddy reads this with a smile of his face, his Baby will see happy Dad and the bond will grow stronger!


Learning time

Dad teaching daughter
Dads teaching their Baby will increase the bond because the Baby will look to Dad as a source of information!

Children love learning. Sure, they might not show it sometimes, but their brains are thirsty for knowledge.

Dad needs to be aware of this and needs to act on it.

Even as a Baby, Children love to learn. Respect quickly grows towards all the people they see as teachers, those who are the font of all knowledge.

Obviously, I am not talking about Dad bonding with his Baby by running through a few long calculations here! I am talking about simple things, like pointing at items and explaining what they are and what they are used for.

Babies are not going to be able to remember a lot of this, however, simply the act of teaching is enough to strengthen the bond, and will feed their inquisitive nature!

 


Outdoor time

Dad paying outside with Baby, bond building
Dads can help to build a bond by taking Baby outside and showing them the world!

Outdoor time builds on the tip above about being a life-tutor.

Spending time outsides has some huge benefits for Dad and Baby. For a start, it opens up the world you the Baby by allowing them to see things that they do not see indoors. Wildlife, shops, and nature.

Be a teacher outside the house where they will have so much information to take in. As the Baby looks around at objects, Dad can be pointing them out and giving them a name.

Secondly, fresh air will make the Baby very tired, making it much easier to settle them later on in the day! Dads need to know these things if they want a little more sleep!


Same clothes


When Babies are born, they look to their parents and notice similarities. The challenging thing here is that they are much smaller than you are.

By wearing similar clothes, you are matching yourself with them which will help to build a bond.

We all know that matching is a very common way to build rapport with someone, so why not use that to your advantage when Dad is building a bond with his Baby?

If Dad has a favorite sports team, why not buy a matching sports kit? Does Dad have a favorite band? Favorite car manufacturer or a favorite drinks brand perhaps? There are so many options out there, and each one of them will help to build a bond.

 


Nap time

Baby sleeping on Dad, building a bond
Nap time is awesome for Dad Baby bonding, and you get to some sleep!

Be careful with this one because it can quickly turn into a habit where they will not able to fall asleep without someone there! I know this because it happened to me…

Babies nap. A lot. Napping is the perfect time for some skin to skin contact!

I could write thousands of word on the benefits of skin to skin contact! Skin to skin has been shown to aid development and reduce Maternal stress. This is also true when Dad spends skin to skin time with his Baby.

Before you lay the Baby down in the crib, consider whether you have some spare time to let the Baby nod off on your chest. There is nothing that builds a bond stronger that skin to skin contact! Use this time to your advantage.

As soon as they drift off to sleep it is time to lay them down in the crib (carefully)! Co-sleeping has been shown to increase the chances of a Baby suffering from SIDS, which is why it is vital that you lay them down correctly.

 


Bath time

Baby in bath with bubbles
Fun time in the bath can help to build a bond too!

Bath time is an awesome time for Dad Baby bonding!

Not only does Dad get to spend some quality time with his Baby, but there are also so many fun things to do during bath time that will entertain Baby until it is time to get out.

Being new to this world, a Baby will love bath time because the feeling and movement of water cause sensory overload!

Spend some time pouring small amounts of water over their legs and watch the reaction. If it is good, carry on. If it is bad then it is probably best to stop and move on.

Squeezy toys, bubble machines, and books are great ways to entertain a Baby during bath time, so use them to your advantage.

 


Attend Baby groups together

Dad holding a Baby up outside
Attending a Baby group as a Dad can help to build a bond by spending time with them!

There are many Baby groups that Dad can take Baby to for some awesome bond building time.

When my Son was a Baby, I took him to a Baby Yoga class. It meant that I was able to spend some good quality time with him, and the room was full of Dads doing the same things!

I admit, my Son did not really enjoy the Yoga class. In fact, he cried after 20 minutes and then we left. Maybe a Yoga class was not for him, but there are many other Baby classes that Dad can choose from.

A simple search in my area brings back a list of possible classes to attend:

  • Signing and Singing
  • Music Class
  • Baby Massage Class
  • Baby Sensory Class

There are tons of options, so take a look in your local area!

 


Conclusion

Above are 9 awesome Dad Baby bonding ideas that you have to try if Dad is looking to build a strong and healthy bond!

There are so many reasons why it is good for Dad to have a strong bond with his Baby, and whilst I have covered a few already in this post, there are more benefits too, such as:

A strong Dad Baby bond means that the Baby will grow up to respect and admire their Dad much more than those who are not lucky enough to have built a strong bond.

Personally, I strive to improve the bond I have with my Son each and every day because it is very important to me. 

For me, it is simply not enough to be a Dad, you also have to be a friend and life coach. For that, you need rapport and a strong bond.

Good luck!

What New Moms Need From Their Husbands

What new Moms need from their husbands

Mom has just gone through a world of pain to bring your child into this world!

So how do you ensure that her first few weeks as a Mom are (relatively) pain-free, insanely enjoyable, and less tiring?

Following on from my post about what a new Dad should know about pregnancy, we are now going to have a look at what new Moms needs from their husbands!

These tips are straight from the horse’s mouth (my wife).

I’m not calling my wife a horse by the way… although she does go through shoes like a horse. I also get thrown from her back occasionally.


So buckle up, get prepped, and get ready to be a top new Dad that will make the rest of them look mediocre at best!

Just think of it as putting some relationship points in the bag for when Mom is fully recovered……

 


10 Things That New Moms Need From Their Husbands

This list is definitely not conclusive, and it depends entirely on your situation. These tips will give you a solid foundation. The most important things you can do as a husband is to offer support, understanding, solidarity, and help with the new baby. Oh, and do not forget to offer your services around the home too!

If Mom has just gone through a ‘classic childbirth‘ then these tips apply.

If however, Mom has just been through a horrendous ordeal like emergency surgery or a C-section, then there are some other things you need to consider. You are now looking at taking care of a person who has just been through some major surgery!

I have said it before in so many posts on this site but preparation is the key to success for pregnancy, childbirth, and being a new Dad.

You should be preparing months in advance for the first few weeks at home with a new baby. If you leave it until the last minute, you will add extra stress on to Mom and the new baby. The first few weeks can be a very stressful time because you are basically given a life to look after, and there are no medical people around to help!

 


Patience

Statue, wooden, posing in a patient stance
Patience is a key skill that new Dads need to develop!

The 1st thing that new Moms need from their husbands is patience!

Patience is a virtue, patience is a virtue.

That is your mantra for the 1st week at least, maybe for the 1st year. You will find out.

During the first few weeks, and because my wife had gone through terrible childbirth, I was on my feet quite a bit dealing with multiple requests for drinks, blankets, food, hot water bottles, and diapers. Then throw in the things my new Son needed and I was whacked out.

The important thing is when a brand spanking new demand arrived from wife or son, JUST AFTER I SAT DOWN, I needed to attend to it with a smile.

When a demand arrived for something that we didn’t have in the house, attend to it with a smile. Should a demand arrive for something that is not in the house and it is 3 am, attend to it with a smile.

Patience is a virtue, patience is a virtue.

 


Understanding

Man standing above a why
New Moms need someone to understand what they are going through.

Listen, Mom has just been put through the wringer. Everything hurts. Literally, everything.

You need to understand that.

During the childbirth of my son, I had 15 minutes sleep in 3 days. I had a heavy cold (a sore throat, blocked nose), but all of that was kept quiet because my wife was going through something much worse.

As long as you understand what Mom has just been through, the rest should come naturally.

Your job is to also understand what new Mom needs from their husbands physically too. This isn’t just a mental thing, although that is more important.

New Moms need rest, and to be comfortable.

 


For Dad To Listen

Statues listening against wall
New Moms need Dad to listen!

One of my biggest challenges as a new Dad was to listen, which is something I really needed to work on.

I do listen generally in life, but when you are sleep deprived and your brain isn’t switching off, listening gets pushed to the back of the queue for your brain.

Bring it right to the forefront of your mind, just for Mom!

New Moms will have a lot to say, and they will also have a lot of questions that might need to be answered. Listen to what they are saying and asking, so you can respond quickly and confidently.

If you don’t know the answer to a question, text someone who will know and then report back to your wife. Easy.

 


For Dad To Take Charge Of The New Baby

Man in suit, looking confident, in charge
Dad needs to take charge of things at home, and with the Baby

This is huge, and really helped my wife recover and also helped to create a strong bond with my son (something which I hold very dear to me).

It is Dads job to take charge sometimes so Mom can chill.

Before my son was born, we agreed that the night feeds would be shared. It was one of the best decisions we made as new parents. One of us took the last feed (22:00ish) then the other would take 02:00, then we would swap again for 06:00.

It made the first few weeks much easier to handle.

Not only do you need to arrange the feeds, but there are also so many things that Dad will need to take care of. Here is a small list:

  • Make sure you have enough baby things (Diapers, cleaning wipes, etc)
  • Do some laundry (So everyone has clean clothes)
  • Do some shopping (So you have some food in)
  • Clean up (So the house is tidy for visitors, women panic about people visiting a dirty house!)

 


For Dad To Not Assume

Ask sign, lamp
One of the worst things Dad can do is assume without asking

Do not assume, just ask.

If you assume your wife is hungry and you make her some lunch, she might flip out (hormones, tiredness).

It may sound ridiculous because it is, BUT, when you are tired and hormonal, you tend to flip out over the little things.

Take away the opportunity for a major flip out by asking your wife if you can get her anything. Cycle through the same old questions:

  • Would you like something to eat?
  • Do you need to sleep for a while?
  • Can I get you a drink?
  • Are you comfortable?

This can be a bit overbearing, but it is important to ask these questions. If the new Mom has had an easy(ish) childbirth then they are likely to be able to do a lot of things themselves. They may get fed up with you asking these questions, so be aware of the responses.

 


Know Where Stuff Is

Drawers, highly orgnanized. Knowing where items are stored
Mom wants Dad to know where everything is. That way, he can be self-sufficient!

Do you know where the following items are:

  1. Diapers
  2. Baby wipes
  3. Baby monitor
  4. Ear thermometer
  5. Baby clothes
  6. Stroller
  7. Baby bottles
  8. Car keys

If you don’t, then go and find out exactly where they are. From 30 weeks onwards, all the important stuff was put in a place and I was shown where it all was. A few days later, it changed around. This process continued until my son was born. My job was to keep up and make a mental note for when the time comes.

There are some items in the list that will need replacing after a while, make sure there are replaced before they run out.

Being an organized person has huge health benefits, including making the right food choices, and improving sleep!

 


Ask Before Arranging Visitors

Toy characters watching something
Dad should always ask before arranging visitors! Mom will thank him for it!

When your new baby is here, everyone and their wife will want to come and pay you a visit!

That is good news because they usually bring gifts (drop some hints for yourself too, you also need a new Dad survival kit!)

It all seems too good to be true, they bring gifts AND they will take the baby off your hands while they are visiting. Win/win!

BUT – let’s not forget that the new Mom has just been through childbirth and may not feel up for visitors. It is definitely not a good idea to spring some visitors on at the last minute, especially if the house is also not up for visitors.

Arrange for visits together, and be prepared to cancel people at the last minute if it is not a good time. People understand.

Stress is never good, especially for new Moms, AND new babies!

 


Time Alone

New Mom sitting on a mountain, reflecting
New Moms need time alone to reflect everything that she has been through.

A Woman’s body is flooded with hormones when they are pregnant and they do not stop after childbirth!

Those hormones are pumped through the body to make them naturally be a good Mom. A downside is that they tend to put a block on being away from the baby for too long.

It is really important that Mom gets some time alone to reflect on what she has just gone through. When you return, her mental clarity will be better and she will (hopefully) be more rested.

To get to the stage where the hormone-ravaged wife will let you walk out with your baby, you need to convince her that you know what you are doing. Increase confidence by taking charge of small things at home. When the baby needs changing, get on your feet and do it. The more confident they are in your ability, the more relaxed they will be while you are out.

 


A New Mom Survival Kit

Mom and Baby is war zone, need survival kit
Mom needs her very own survival kit to keep it together!

I asked my wife what she would like in a new Mom survival kit, and this is what she said:

Try to steer clear of giving anything alcoholic if Mom is breastfeeding! It might just infuriate them, and you really do not want that…..

 


LOOK OUT FOR THEM!

New Mom worried, mental health
Always ensure Mom has someone looking out for her mental health.

THE BIGGEST TIP ON HERE, but it is not what they want, it is what they NEED.

It is very important that Dads learn about Postpartum Depression and all possible symptoms.

Forwarned is forearmed. 

Health Professionals are excellent at spotting the symptoms. They are trained to ask the right questions to ensure there are no red flags that could indicate the onset of Postpartum Depression. Dads are not.

I genuinely think they should have classes JUST FOR DADS on the warning signs for things that can go wrong during, and after the pregnancy.

Around 1 in 10 women suffer from some of the most severe symptoms of Postpartum Depressionmake sure you know the symptoms so you can get some help for the new Mom before it escalates.

 


Conclusion

After asking my wife what new Moms need from their husbands, she gave me 9 of the 10 things above! The last tip was from me because Moms need someone to look out for them after giving birth!

The most important thing is that you remember exactly what they have just been through. Not just the whole childbirth thing, I am talking about the 9 months leading up to the childbirth too. As soon as women get pregnant, they are flooded with hormones.

It doesn’t stop there either, the hormones carry on well into the new babies life. Give them time, give them space and use a hell of a lot of patience to make sure they remain cool.

Sort things out and take control – you may not be thanked for it, but you will have a much happier, healthy family unit.

If you are a new Dad, congratulations! If you are about to be a new Dad, there is plenty of advice on DadGold.com to give you an advantage.

Good luck!

10 Things A Dad Should Know About Pregnancy

Things A Dad Should Know About Pregnancy

Pregnancy. It is never boring.

Sure, it is tiresome sometimes, but it is not boring. What are the things a Dad should know about pregnancy?

I am going to give you 10 things I wish I knew about pregnancy when my Son was cooking in the womb.

Like most things in life, preparation is key. This is very true for pregnancy too. Speaking of preparation, make sure you have your hospital survival kit ready towards the end!

When Mom is pregnant, it can be a wonderful time for your family, but there are also times when Dads knowledge may be called upon.

 


10 Things A Dad Should Know About Pregnancy

  1. Know the pregnancy stages
  2. What your partner will physically need
  3. What your partner will mentally need
  4. Her sense of smell is like a dog
  5. Do not worry about having sex
  6. Moods change at the drop of a hat
  7. Know how to make your baby move
  8. Learn pregnancy danger signs
  9. Understand what happens during childbirth
  10. Understand what you will both need for the hospital

 


Is this a conclusive list of things a Dad should know about pregnancy?

No, definitely not. For a start, there would be so many words on this page, you probably wouldn’t read them all!

These are simply 10 things that I wished I knew when my wife was pregnant.

My biggest tip is for you to learn what could go wrong during pregnancy. You REALLY need to know the most common issues that could spell trouble for you all.

Have a read through this page on pregnancy warning signs and please, if you are not sure about a symptom, it is REALLY important to get Mom checked out by a medical professional.

 


Things A Dad Should Know About Pregnancy

Here are the 10 tips! Enjoy!

 


Know the pregnancy stages

Pregnant ladies, various trimesters
Know the pregnancy stages, and more importantly, know what to expect at each stage!

This is the first thing Dad needs to know about pregnancy, and it is a very, very large subject. In fact, I have written a complete article about the stages of pregnancy, it is well worth a read.

I will give you a basic rundown though. the pregnancy is broken down into 3 trimesters:

  • 1st trimester – 0-12 weeks
  • 2nd trimester 12-28 weeks
  • 3rd trimester 29-40 weeks

Each of the trimesters will give you new challenges and a set of tasks to do.

Read my stages of pregnancy article for a breakdown on what you should expect your baby to be doing, and what you expect your wife to be doing.

It is always best to know what you are up against.

 


What your partner will physically need

Pregnant lady laying down holding her Baby bump
Look after Moms physical needs, and her mental needs will follow!

So many things. Honestly, so many! But, I have a small list of things below that actually really helped my wife during pregnancy:

  1. A pregnancy pillow – trust me, Dad will also get more sleep.
  2. Eye mask – to help with sleeping during the day.
  3. Dad to clean up after himself – just do it Man.
  4. Dad to take care of *stuff* around the house.
  5. Hot water bottle – because they just make you feel better!

During pregnancy, Dads job is to make Mom content, confident, happy, and ready for Childbirth.

 


What your partner will mentally need

Brain, mental needs
Mental needs are extremely important, so ensure that Dad does not neglect them!
  1. To get out of the house during the later stages – it stops cabin fever.
  2. You to understand – try not to argue back, and understand that hormones are driving every single one of her moods, good or bad.
  3. To relax – hosting a Baby must be tiring work, talk to her about her concerns and address them.
  4. To talk – Talking about how she is getting on shows and interest and increases the feeling that you are in this together.
  5. You to answer questions and to increase your knowledge – during pregnancy, she isn’t going to know everything. Take the lead and learn what is happening and what is going to happen. If she asks you a question and you have the answer, her confidence builds knowing that you are around.

I am sure you are aware that pregnancy comes a sudden rush of hormones, and not just once either!

During pregnancy, Dad needs to keep Moms mental health right at the forefront of his consciousness. It is vital that Mom feels she can talk to Dad about anything, at all times.

 


Her sense of smell is like a dog

Dog handing out of window, sniffing
Dad should always ensure the house is clean!

Make sure you have regular showers. Don’t go overboard on the scent and try not to cook food that is going to cause the entire house to smell for days.

Get some relaxing candles that Woman love, they release a subtle fragrance as they burn which will mask many smells.

The important thing here is that when you clean the house, make sure you cover everything. If you miss even a bit of the cleaning, her hound nose will pick it up in no time at all!

While I am on the subject, Mom will go through a stage of pregnancy they call ‘nesting‘. Nesting is where Moms natural instincts will kick in and she will want to prepare the house for the Babies arrival. When the nesting stage begins, all you need to do is move out of Moms way, she has everything covered. Always be ready for some instructions, and always keep an eye on Mom just in case she is trying to move heavy objects!

 


Do not worry about having sex

Two ladybirds having sex
….just don’t even think about it!

Literally, just don’t worry about it. It probably isn’t going to happen. It might happen, once or twice.

During the 1st trimester, things are a little fraught and her body is just not going to feel up to it, so you need to respect that.

A mixture of worry and a massive boost in hormones will take over and sex is probably going to be one of the last things on her mind.

Women tend to go into overdrive during the 2nd trimester, and that is when your chances are likely to arrive. When it does, don’t worry about hurting the baby, it just ain’t gonna happen Man.

If anything, the good hormones released during sex will make the baby happier in the womb. Try to use that line when you can!

The 3rd trimester is unlikely to bring you any sexy time. For a start, she is going to be huge. You have to remember that she may not look huge but in her mind, she is HUGE.

There is a fable that sex brings on labor, it isn’t true but it is well worth suggesting. It might be your last chance for a while.

A friend once gave me this advice.

When you first meet a girl, put some money IN a jar each time you have sex. After childbirth, take money OUT of the jar each time you have sex. You will soon realize that the jar will never be empty.

 


Moods change at the drop of a hat

Angry women, pregnancy hormones, Dad needs to know
Moods change quickly, get used to it and work with it!

Picture this, you are having a conversation with your wife. In that same conversation, she is laughing, crying, angry, and then back to laughing again. It doesn’t follow the same pattern, it is very sporadic. Try to keep up.

Do as much as you can to ensure your partner is not going to get too angry, or sad.

Respect that it is a sudden rush of hormones that are driving these moods. Do not get drawn into pointless disagreements.

During my wife’s pregnancy, arguments were very rare (I don’t tend to argue anyway, life is too short), so I got away with it. Some Dad’s paint an entirely different picture though.

 


Know how to make your baby move

Teddy bear on top of Baby bump
Knowing how to make your Baby move will relieve pressure and stress. Dads need to know this about pregnancy!

During pregnancy, one of the things a Dad needs to know if how to make your baby move.

There will be times when the babies activity slows down and there will be times when it just will no quit moving around.

You need to ask Mom regularly if she has felt the baby move recently, just to make sure everything is cool.

If Mom hasn’t felt the baby move for a few hours, there are some things you can do to wake the baby up:

  • Run a bath for Mom
  • Get Mom up and walking around
  • Put something cold on the baby bump

I remember one time when I had just got back home from work. My wife looked concerned, and after asking what was wrong I actually got an answer (which makes a change!). She had not felt my Son move that day.

I told my wife to lay down and close her eyes. I grabbed a packet of frozen vegetables and without her knowing, I stuck it on the baby bump.

It shocked my Wife and more importantly, made my Son give a belting kick from the inside!

Mom was happy, although she asked me to try something less surprising next time.

As far as I was concerned, it was a job well done.

 


Learn pregnancy danger signs

Warning triangle. Dad learns pregnancy warning signs
Most important of all, Dad needs to learn the warning signs that he needs to watch out for during pregnancy!

Please learn the danger signs to look out for during pregnancy!

It is really important to know what can go wrong during pregnancy so you can deal with it swiftly and effectively. That means calling a medical professional, by the way.

Prepare for the worst is the best approach. I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to be aware of the danger signs.

Just read as much as you can, and when you have finished reading about the danger signs, then read some more!

 


Understand what happens during childbirth

Brain, knowledge
Know what happens during childbirth so it does not take you by surprise!

I have a post that helps you understand what happens during pregnancy, have a read of that post and familiarize yourself with what you should be expecting.

Within the post, I run through what happens to the baby and more importantly, what you can expect your wife to be doing during pregnancy.

When you stroll into the hospital knowing what to expect, it will give Mom some confidence, which means less stress for her! Less stress is best, especially when you are about to go through the tremendous pain of childbirth!

Even after soaking up a vast amount of knowledge from books, friends, and medical experts, I was still not fully prepared for childbirth.

This is because it is not possible for somebody to know everything that could happen during childbirth.

As long as Dad learns what is common for childbirth then he is as prepared as he can be!

 


Understand what you will both need for the hospital

Pregnant lady laying in bed awaiting childbirth
Prepare Dad and Moms hospital survival kit weeks in advance of the due date!

Ultimately, you will need to have 4 things sorted before you even leave for the hospital, and that means preparing months in advance.

  1. Get the car ready for the journey and prepping the car to have a baby on board.
  2. Prepare your Dads hospital survival kit. That post will show you everything I needed during the hospital stay, and it was a stay too!
  3. Moms hospital bag.
  4. Get the house ready to host a newborn baby.

Get them sorted now, and your future self will thank you!

 


Why it is important for Dads to know about pregnancy

All of the tips above are genuinely things that a Dad needs to know about pregnancy, but why does he need to know?

Pregnancy can be a magical time for both parents, but it can also be a time when tensions are very high. This is especially true if it is Mom’s first pregnancy. Dad needs to be the person to turn to for advice, and for support.

A Dad needs to know about pregnancy because, like all things in life, preparation is key to success.

When my wife was pregnant, I went above and beyond when learning everything that I needed to know. I did this because I wanted to be able to answer questions, and I wanted to be able to offer support when it mattered most. Most of all, I actually WANTED to know the process.

I wanted to know what to expect, and that thirst for knowledge meant that I was able to be ‘the rock’ when my Wife had concerns.

Unfortunately, our first pregnancy ended in miscarriage, which was the driving force behind me learning the vital warning signs that mean you need medical assistance.

 


Conclusion

When I was writing this post, the question wasn’t so much ‘What are the things a Dad should know about pregnancy?’ it was more ‘What did I wish I knew about pregnancy when my wife was pregnant?’

The rest was pretty easy!

Above all else, and this is good advice for pregnancy and being a new Dadpreparation is what is going to stop you getting into trouble. If you do not prepare, you do not know what to expect and it will cause much annoyance!

I prefer the easy life, so I get on it before I need to.

Now you are ready, it is time to have a look at the new Dad survival kit.

If you can think of anything else that a Dad will need to know about pregnancy please get in touch. Either leave a comment below or use the contact us page.

Good luck!

10 Tips For Surviving Work After Paternity Leave

Tips For Surviving Work After Paternity Leave

It is going to hit you like a steam train!

I had 2 and 1/2 weeks paternity leave after the birth of my Son. The clock started ticking as my Wife was induced. Little did I know that 3 of those days would be spent waiting for my Son to make an appearance, followed by 8 days of overnight hospital stays while they treated my Wife and Son BEFORE I could get them both home!

17 Days – 11 days = 6 at home with Mother and Child.

During the 6 days I spent at home, I could catch up on my sleep during quiet moments in the daytime – One of my tips for surviving the 1st week at home as a new Dad!

Going back to work removed the prospect of getting my head down during the day – I could still do it, but it would result in me having a lot more time off work and a lot less money!

At first, I struggled, as you would do. Looking back on my first few days at work, I noted a few things that helped me get through it…..aside from the fact that I was fully prepared to be a new Dad.

So I decided to create a post to give you some tips on returning to work after paternity leave!10 Tips To Help You Return To Work After Paternity Leave – Quick Links

  1. Teamwork
  2. Take Reminders To Work
  3. Befriend Another Dad
  4. Power Nap Through Your Lunch
  5. Stimulant
  6. Move About A Lot
  7. Get Some Fresh Air
  8. Mornings = Important Stuff
  9. Eat A Smart Breakfast
  10. Smart Snacking

 

10 Tips For Surviving Work After Paternity Leave


1. Teamwork

Surviving Work After Paternity Leave Teamwork

I created a plan for making sure I was getting enough sleep during the night, so I could function correctly at work.

There were 3 feeds during the ‘night period’ that we needed to be ready for:

22:00-00:00 – Feed before sleep

We shared feeding most nights. Our usual bedtime is around this time anyway, so it had little effect on sleeping patterns.

02:00-04:00 – Middle of the night feed

My wife took this from Monday morning to Friday morning. I took this one on Saturday and Sunday mornings.

06:00-08:00 – Early morning feed

This was also shared, with the exception of weekends, where I did it.

I thought it was a very evenly balanced process. It worked well! During the week, I wasn’t too tired for work, and if my Wife wanted to get some sleep in the early evening, I would take on the last feed of the day. I took on the weekends, so Mrs. Gold can catch up on her sleep.

The downside is that you will not be having a lay-in for some time!


2. Take Reminders To Work

Surviving Work After Paternity Leave Reminders

This really helped me. One of my new Dad gifts was a photo frame, which I keep on my desk at work.

When being back at work is making you as depressed as hell, take a look at the picture to remind yourself that there is someone else who relies on you bringing home the bacon.

It also acts as an awesome reminder to never do it again.


3. Befriend Another Dad

Surviving Work After Paternity Leave chat to other Dads

If you work in a large environment, full of other people, there is likely to be someone you know who has recently gone through what you are going through.

Ask them how they got on, seek some advice. What did they do to get through it?

Us Dad’s are pretty resourceful, we are forever coming up with something to make our lives easier. It is part of being a Man.


4. Power Nap Through Your Lunch

Surviving Work After Paternity Leave Catnap

As I look at the car park through the window next to my head (great view), I can see 2 people sitting in their cars almost every lunchtime.

There is one guy, in the Summer months only, who opens every one of his car doors and goes to sleep for 40 minutes. Weather permitting, of course.

I have never spoken to him, but I imagine he is a Dad.


5. Stimulant

Surviving Work After Paternity Leave stimulant

If coffee is your thing, make sure the supply at work never runs out.

Some of you lucky Dads might even be on the road a lot, and you can buy Coffee while you are traveling! I envy you, I really do.

If Coffee isn’t for you, find a suitable replacement. Other options for a pick me up include:

Water

When you are tired, your body will feel dehydrated. Drink plenty of water to keep hydrated and feel more awake.

As an added bonus, the more water you drink, the more times you will need to toilet. Moving about will keep you awake!

Tea

A slow release of caffeine.

Vitamin Drinks

Vitamin B shows improvements in brain function and helps to keep you alert throughout the day. Drinking an effervescent vitamin supplement will give you a much-needed boost.

Caffeine Drinks

Massive hit of a stimulant! Use this with caution. There are some heavy hitters out there that will keep you awake and give you a boost! My personal preference is the Monster Range.


6. Move About A Lot

Surviving Work After Paternity Leave keep active

Some Dads will have jobs where you are moving a lot, and some (like me) will have office jobs, where the only exercise you get is moving your hands over a keyboard or dragging your head up from your chest to see what you are typing.

If you have an office job, make sure you take time every hour to walk somewhere. As long as it not the snack machine, it will also improve your health.


7. Get Some Fresh Air

Surviving Work After Paternity Leave fresh air

If you can’t sleep at lunch, make sure you get away from your desk for some fresh air – assuming you are desk-based.

Take a walk (that’s not abuse, by the way) and clear your head. It is a great idea to get some exercise and to take some time away from your place of work.

Clearly, if your job keeps you on your feet all day, then flip it around. Use your lunch and break times to get some well-earned rest!


8. Mornings = Important Stuff

Surviving Work After Paternity Leave mornings

For those times when you are traveling to work, running on minimum sleep, you will be grateful to your former self for booking in the important stuff (meetings, complex tasks) for the morning.

15:00 is a well known time for the daily ‘energy crash’ and lack of sleep the previous night will only exacerbate the crash!

There are some things you can do to avoid this crash or to reduce the impact…like drink plenty of water, or be more active and make better snack choices.

If you plan the important stuff in the morning, then you will be able to get those out of the way before it hits you!

I went through a stage of arranging meetings for mornings only, because my boss noticed I yawned a lot in the afternoon!

…and with a newborn, you will be yawning that much that your jaw will start to ache!


9. Eat A Smart Breakfast

Surviving Work After Paternity Leave breakfast

It is easier said than done when you are trying to get ready for work and you are also trying to placate a newborn baby!

Eating a good breakfast will set you up for the day, and there are certain foods you should include to keep you ticking over nicely.

Oats

Probably the best carbohydrate there is for a steady release of energy. Not only are oats a great idea for a breakfast, but they are also a top idea for lunch too, especially if you want to avoid the 15:00 crash.

Banana

For a fantastic, natural energy boost, why not have a Banana as part of your breakfast. I would also suggest taking one into work because they are a great healthy choice for a snack.

Eggs

Top of the breakfast tree this one. Clinical trials have shown an increase in energy levels for those who had consumed Eggs for breakfast. This is a serious weapon in your battle to stay awake at work!

So as it happens, the best breakfast to have to help you through your return to work is Oats, Banana, and Eggs. I’ve no idea how you can throw all of those in the same dish but hey, whatever keeps you awake!


10. Smart Snacking

Surviving Work After Paternity Leave snacking

In the tip above, I said it is a great idea to have a Banana for breakfast….and to take one to work for a snack.

There are also other options that I would go for, such as:

Nuts

More with the Clinical Trials! Nuts are packed full of energy and will help improve your brain function while slowly releasing energy throughout the day. They also come with the added benefit that they reduce loads of terrible health conditions, like high blood pressure, heart disease, and sudden cardiac death.

Shake It

This will take a little preparation in the morning but it is a top choice for a perfect snack that is going to keep your brain in gear for the PM.

It’s pretty simple. 1 scoop of protein powder, a small spoon of peanut butter and 40 grams of oats. It has everything you need……protein and decent, slow-burning carbs. I lived on these for a for months!

Snacking correctly is really important. When your body is shattered, it will want all kind of wrong foods to keep in going. SCREAMING OUT…get me some chocolate, damn you! Quell those voices, by snacking well.

Or just get some chocolate, whatever gets you through it Man.

 


Conclusion

There you go! Those are 10 things I did during my first week back at work. They helped me get through it!

My personal favorite is tip number 1, it is very important to share the load and to arrange which feeds you are going to take on. Not only will it give you a bit more sleep, but it also stops you negotiating (arguing) at 3 am…

Returning to work after paternity leave is a struggle, there is no doubt about that.

If you have a decent boss, they will be understanding of your new situation and will (hopefully) cut you some slack.

Can you think of any more tips that should be on here? Have you recently returned to work after paternity leave? Did you use any tools to help you through the 1st week? If so, contact us or leave a reply below!

Good luck!

How To Survive Your First Week As A Dad

Getting through your first week as a new dad

You’ve done it! You are in your first week of being a Dad! Congrats Man.

After the roller-coaster of emotions, and after 9 months of navigating your way past a full-on hormonal pregnant monster (no offense), you are now on easy street, my friend!

Of course, I am joking. Let’s take two minutes to remember your former life.

………………………………

Done? Good.

Now you are a Dad. Your wet wiped filled life, is now dedicated to bringing up a child. Barring any medical issues, you are now at home with your child.

What happens next?


Help Me! I’ve Got This New Baby And I Don’t Know What To Do!

Chill out! It’s a piece of cake, honest.

This is how my Son spent his first week at home:

  • 70% – Sleeping.
  • 10% – Eating.
  • 10% – Being Changed.
  • 8% – Crying because he is hungry, or needs changing.
  • 2% – Crying for no apparent reason. Maybe my face scared him, we will never know.

Here are some tips to get you through the 1st week of being a Dad

 


1. Chill Out, Man

Surviving The First Week As A Dad chill out

Babies are pretty useless. They can’t walk, talk, fix stuff or cook your dinner.

They do, however, know how to read emotions.

When you are stressed, they pick up on it. A normal functioning human being will take it easy on you until you are back out from your stress zone. A normal functioning human being will help to guide you back to a better place, for the sake of your sanity and your health.

A baby is not a normal functioning human being. No sir, not at ALL.

They are hell-bent on making it worse. Not because they are evil, you understand. It is because they don’t really know what is going on, and may find themselves a little scared of stressed Dad.

Take it easy! There is a saying, and that is ‘Pretend Until You Are’. That is easier said than done, but you must pretend to be an oasis of calm.

When the baby is asleep, you can stress as much as you want. QUIETLY.


2. Know Where Stuff Is

Surviving The First Week As A Dad know where stuff is

This has been a big-time stress trigger in my house. It still is.

Get to know where the following things are:

Wet Wipes

I am serious here. Buy as many packets of wet wipes as you can. Scatter them around the house.

Wherever you are in the house, you must always be within 2 meters of a packet of wet wipes.

Take this advice, and repeat for a (currently unspecified) number of years.

Diapers/Nappies

Repeat the process above.

My wife like to keep things clean. I like to keep things within reach, for an emergency.

At first, they were kept upstairs. We soon realized, in the event of a mass evacuation of bowels, it would be easier if we didn’t have to carry him up the stairs to grab one! The result would be much MUCH more washing.

Food

I am talking about the kid here. Whether they are breastfed, bottle fed with formula or bottle fed with breast milk. Know where they all are!

I am going to assume you know where the breasts are. They don’t belong to you at the moment though, remember that.


3. Prep For Feeding Times

Surviving The First Week As A Dad food prep

If your baby is formula fed, not only will you need to know where everything is, you must also be prepared for a quick formula shake-up, especially at 3 am.

Instead of waking you up with a calming gurgle, you are likely to be woken up by an ear piercing scream, as if something REALLY bad has happened.

They are probably hungry, get the bottle ready and get them fed, before you wake the whole street up.

PS – A little tip from a Dad, when they wake up hungry (at night), change them before feeding. They will go back to sleep much easier when you have finished winding them. If you do it the other way around, they might just stay awake thinking it is play time!


4. Use The Downtime Wisely

Surviving The First Week As A Dad sleep

Your first week will be the week where your sleep pattern is totally broken. Not only will you be up every 3 to 4 hours because they are hungry, but you will also stay awake worrying that they are OK (if you are like me!).

Just quickly, if you do struggle with sleeping because you are constantly worried about them, use a baby monitor with a sensor pad. I cannot tell you how much reassurance this gave me! Knowing that I would be alerted to any issues resulted in better quality sleep for me!

Use the time during the day wisely. When they hit the hay, you get your head down….all of you.

You may not get the full 8 hours straight sleep anymore, but you can easily make up the numbers with a few cat naps during the day.

Which brings me neatly onto the next tip…..


5. Plan A Visitor Roster

Surviving The First Week As A Dad – Timetable

Everyone you know will want to come and take a look at your new baby as soon as you are at home.

Hopefully, if they have a bit of respect, they will make contact with you and ask for the best time to visit.

Set out some time when you are happy with receiving visitors (as long as they bring gifts!). When it’s not the time for visitors, turn off your doorbell, and hibernate.


6. Share The Load

Surviving The First Week As A Dad Share the load

Luckily, I had some time away from work…which I had to extend due to the childbirth issues we had!

The result of my time off was that I was able to take on a lot more tasks, especially overnight.

Due to the level of destruction, my wives body had to go through, I felt it was only right that I got up for every night feed, so I did. It didn’t stop her getting up too, despite me suggesting otherwise!

Sharing the tasks and working as a team made the first week at home much easier. Make a plan before you go to bed so you know which of you is going to get up for each feed.

During the day, do the same.

This parenting stuff is much easier when you work together!


7. Take Loads Of Photos

Surviving The First Week As A Dad take pictures

The first 2 weeks of your babies life is the time when you need to take ‘newborn’ photos. After 2 weeks, they will grow out of this phase.

Make sure you take enough photos during this time, for two reasons:

Memories

It is obvious, but you will want to remember them when they are this small. Take as many as you can.

Thank You Cards

New births often mean a truckload of gifts! Use some of the photographs you have taken to create some thank-you cards for those who have taken the trouble to buy your new child (or you!) a gift.

If you have a bit of spare cash on the hip, why don’t you book some time with a photographer? It seems most people know someone who is ‘into photography’ so hook up with them, see if they are up for taking some shots of you all.


8. Fire Up Your Streaming Service

Surviving The First Week As A Dad relax

I mentioned this in my new Dad survival kit post because if you do not sleep when they do, it is the perfect opportunity to load up Amazon, Netflix….whatever your preference is!

My Wife and I managed to get through quite a few movies during the first two weeks of our Son being at home. Who needs sleep anyway?

If you can, try to pick out some decent TV shows….or a small selection of movies before the first week so you can just load them up and tick them off one by one.

PS – Fresh air is good for you, so make sure you spend a bit of time outside the house too!


9. Order Some Flowers

Surviving The First Week As A Dad flowers

C’mon, she has been through a lot, and now is the time to give her a bit of a treat…..if flowers is her thing that is!

You can order flowers to turn up on the same day if you get on the website quick enough.

A bouquet of flowers goes a long way in making them feel better, it is a small price to pay after they sacrificed their body to squeeze a baby out.

Plus – when the flowers arrive, it is the perfect time to pick a movie YOU want to see, because the chances of conflict are much lower. Take advantage guys.


10. Keep An Eye On Each Other

Surviving The First Week As A Dad mental health

OK, this one is much more serious than the rest and is clearly THE MOST IMPORTANT tip on this page.

Fella’s – You need to get to know the symptoms of postpartum depression.

Soon after giving birth (and for about 6 weeks after), a Woman’s body will start to return to a normal, non-pregnant state. That means a huge drop in hormone levels! Add that to sleep deprivation and added stress and it can lead to a perfect storm for depression.

The Baby blues are very common in early parenthood.

It is definitely worth reading this entire post about the early warning signs so you can get used to them and keep an eye to make sure everything is cool.

If you do notice something and it concerns you, please speak to your partner or a Doctor.

Better to be safe than sorry.

The same goes for us guys too (without the huge change in hormone levels!). Additional stress, sleep deprivation, and increased self-expectancy can trigger a depressive state.

The moral here is that you need to watch out for each other. Keep an eye out and notice any difference in behavior that may indicate the start of a problem. Then deal with it.

 


Conclusion

If you are now in the first week of Fatherhood and you have just got them home, congratulations. Now your time as a Dad begins!

It is not all bad, it is not all tiring and this is the start of an awesome time of your life.

I hope these 10 tips will help you through your first week as a new Dad, they certainly made my first week easier!

Can you think of anything else you need for your first week as a Father? If you can, let me know by leaving a reply below.

Enjoy your first week, and keep an eye on each other!

How To Get Kids To Sleep – Boss Mode Level 4

How To Get Kids To Sleep

You’ve had a tough day, right? As the Dad of a toddler, all I have heard his my name, mentioned a thousand times. Dad, look at this…Dad, what are you doing….Where are you going, Dad?

Now you need a beer, or just to sit down and escape reality in front of the TV.

Maybe both.

The best option for getting a kid to sleep is to invest in an awesome light projector. These captivate their minds as they drift off to see the Sandman.

 


Sleep Time Battle Royale

Sometimes, getting them to sleep is easy (especially if they have not had a sleep during the day).

There are times when they will not want to sleep. They will want to stay up to frustrate you and to stop you getting things done.

Being tired, they will be even more demanding, and naughty. My Son lets us know when he is tired. It happens most days, between 16:00 and 17:00. He gets more agitated, more demanding and listens less than he usually does (Base rate is around 20%).

Unless he is ill, we will not let him sleep early. It sets us for an almighty battle when it is bedtime. Seriously, if the kid closes his eyes, even for a minute, you can add 2 hours onto his usual bedtime!

How is that possible??!

When it does eventually get to bedtime, we have a 50% chance of a battle. What you need, is some tools to help kids sleep!

Just like you have weapons in your battle to get them to eat, I want to give you some tips I have learned to make getting them to sleep a much easier task!

 


Tips To Help Get Your Kid To Sleep

So what are these tips to help get a toddler get to sleep then?

Before we dive into the tips, I want to re-iterate, these will not always work. There is no magic you can perform that suddenly makes a kid fall asleep. All we can do as Dads is have a list of stuff we can try.

Sometimes we get lucky and sometimes we do not. You will find that the nights where it is most difficult to get them to sleep are the nights when you really need them to sleep. Nights where you are planning, and nights where you have been waiting for AGES for this game…but they just do not want to settle.

I remember waiting for months for one particular live game on TV. Chances of getting him settled…..0%. I tried. I think he must have been picking up on my excitement, and that was keeping him awake. No doubt, I was my own worst enemy!

In the end, I bought him downstairs and we watched it together.

Anyway, enough about past struggles, here are the tips, enjoy!

 


1. Create A Sleep Routine

child routine – eating and sleeping

A routine is the number 1 tip. It is not just for sleeping either. You will need a routine to get them to eat, for waking up, even something simple like going to the supermarket (Which my child HATES) can have a routine to break them in gently each time.

Routines can be simple. I’ll give you a rundown of the routine I created:

  • Meal Time – The last meal of the day
  • Shower or Bath (Giving them the option means they know they have chosen)
  • Drink (Usually milk)
  • Settle on the sofa to talk about what we have done today
  • Bed, with a story if they have been good

Psychologically, a routine will give you the edge. It prepares them for bedtime.

They know, as they have been through the routine enough, that bedtime is on the horizon.

That doesn’t mean they will accept it all the time, it just gives you the edge and minimizes any full-on, hate-filled toddler reaction.

Melatonin – Know Your Allies

Melatonin is the chemical in our bodies that makes us tired. It peaks in the evening, making us tired and then drops in the morning to wake us up.

A routine will kick-start the production of Melatonin and will prepare your child for a night of sleep.

Be like Mother nature! Or Father nature……just…..be nature.

 


2. Wear Them Out

Wear kids out before bed

Both physically and mentally!

This tip has a tendency to wear you out too, so use wisely.

If you have them all day, make sure you visit a local park for an hour or so. Make them walk there and walk back if you can.

If you have tired them out at the local park, or even in the backyard, then they will be asleep before the end of the routine in tip 1!

Job done!

Many times has my toddler fallen asleep on the sofa during ‘settle down time’ if he has been suitably worn out during the day. It is a magic feeling.

Carry him to bed, grab the monitor, grab a beer.

 


3. Make Them Tell You A Story

kids bedtime story

I like this one because I don’t have to think too much.

Obviously, they need to be old enough and have a decent grasp of the language before you can try this tip. From about 3 years old, they can make up a story and they love using imagination, so take advantage.

It isn’t going to grip you, don’t go in there with any wild expectations that you are going to be blown away by a modern day Charles Dickens.

What I should have said, is don’t go there with ‘Great Expectations’. That would have been pretty funny. It’s a shame I didn’t think of that.

 


4. Soothing Music

relaxing music to help sleeping child

Piano music, harp music. Something without any words in, because listening to the words may keep them awake.

You will get used to the type of music that sends your kid to sleep. I have found that Rage Against The Machine is not that great at sending a kid to sleep.

Everyone is different.

Use Spotify if you have it because some of the folks on there have done the hard work for you! Search for a sleep playlist. Hit play. Chill out!

According to my Parents, when I was a baby I would only go to sleep if I could hear the vacuum! Honestly, I would scream the house down until that thing was put on.

The electricity bill must have been high! I am sure if Ewan The Dream Sheep was available when I was a youngster, my Dad wouldn’t hesitate to part with his money! One of the sounds to soothe your child is a vacuum cleaner! It’s a common thing y’know, honest.

 


5. Soothing YouTube Videos

youtube soothing bedtime videos

Yeh I know, you can’t let YouTube bring your kids up, but you can let it help to get them to sleep!

For this one, you will need a TV with the capability of watching YouTube videos. It cannot be used on a phone or tablet because they will want to get involved.

Give them the phone or tablet and they will be flicking through channels like a seasoned pro.

Before you know it, you will be watching a video of some weirdo dressed up as Spider-Man, walking around their house, shooting Aliens with Nerf Guns.

There are loads of videos on YouTube that can really help you out.

You can watch their eyes, they are transfixed, then the eye muscles give in and they close…and fall asleep.

On my Son’s 1st birthday, he was suffering with Chickenpox. For obvious reasons, getting him to sleep was a HUGE challenge. Before we tried YouTube, he would only sleep if I was holding him, standing up, bobbing up and down on the balls of my feet.

Clearly, I couldn’t do that all night. But I couldn’t let him scream the house down either!

 


6. Be Boring!

boring bedtime routine

Kids feed off you and your mood. If you are excited about something, they will be excited. If you are happy, they are happy (ish). When you are angry, they are….annoying…..yeh, it doesn’t work all of the time.

If you are in a mood where you want to play, they are not going to go to sleep. They will also want to play!

So the tip is, be boring. Be really, really boring. Talk in a slow, monotone voice.

I am getting tired just thinking about it.

Sometimes, I will let my Son fall asleep on the sofa. For this to be successful, I start to take the volume of my voice down to almost a whisper. Then I will close my eyes and pretend to fall asleep. He will look up at me and realize I am asleep, so he might as well close his eyes too.

On occasion, I open up my eyes to see him staring right back at me! And my heart sinks…..

 


7. Technology

technology to help kids to go sleep

Yeh – now we are talking! Get me some more gadgets!

Nowadays, we have an app to do most things. We also have a gadget to do most things.

There are plenty of gadgets out there that will help get your tot off to the land of Nod.

Let’s take a look at the two that I used when my Son was a baby:

Ewan The Dream Sheep. I bought this before he was even born. The fantastic sounds send my Son to sleep easily. The noises mimic the sounds a baby hears in a womb, like a heartbeat, pink noise, etc.

This blue Turtle has recently re-appeared as part of the night time routine! When my Son was a baby, the visuals got him to sleep, while he cuddled into his Ewan The Dream Sheep.

 


8 Blanket/Cuddly Toy

How To Get Kids To Sleep – favourite blanket

I have left this as one of the last because I am sure you are not going to forget it! But just in case they have burnt you out so much during the day that you forget your own name:

Don’t forget to give them their favourite blanket/cuddly toy!

When I was a child, I needed my cuddly toy Cat with me to get to sleep – along with the hoover noises I mentioned above!

My Son has his blanket and has only ever fallen asleep once without it. Believe it or not, that particular night, he didn’t want his blanket, in its place he opted for the new set of children’s boxing gloves I recently bought for him!

Whatever relaxes them, do your best to provide!

 


9 The Car

How To Get Kids To Sleep – take them for a ride

This one goes against the bedtime routine I talked about in tip 1, so use it wisely!

Works every time, without fail. Take your child out for a drive around bedtime and they are sure to fall asleep pretty damn quick!

The danger is that if you keep doing it, the drive will form part of the bedtime routine. That will be a particularly difficult one to break too.

While I am on the subject, there is a time period that I refer to as the Golden Hour. This the time when car travel must only be completed if necessary! The reason is, this is the prime time for them to take a nap….and you are helping push those Melatonin levels up by gently rocking them to sleep as you take a ride in your car!

Golden Hour – The time between 16:00 and 17:00 each day where your child is most likely to fall asleep. The result is a wide awake kid when it really is time for their bed!

I mentioned above that if my Son sleeps, even for a few minutes during the day, getting him to sleep at his regular bedtime becomes a battle of wills. I have been known to fall asleep before he does….although I can still hear him talking to himself as I sleep!

 


Conclusion

There you go, now you know 9 tips to help you get your toddler to sleep! I really hope they will help you out when you really need them to go to sleep.

Some of the tips need to be carefully planned, and some you can spin off whenever you need them.

Sometimes, one of the tips will work and sometimes it will not.

If one doesn’t work, then move on to the next.

Kids are spontaneous, and that means you have to think on your feet.

The more tools you have in your ‘sleep now, you little…….’ toolbox, the better chance you have of getting your kid to sleep when they really do not want to.

When you are desperate for a beer and some wind-down time, you need all the help you can get!

Good luck!

If you have any more tips or suggestions for tricks that you use to get your kid to sleep, feel free to get in contact or leave a reply below.

Kids Making You Angry? 10 Tips To Stay Cool!

Kids Making You Angry

Your pulse is racing, your temples are pounding and your temperature is rising. Your face starts to go a bit red and sweat beads drip from your hairline (If you still have one).

It is a feeling that all parents are faced with suppressing unless you want your child to learn that anger is what happens when you have a disagreement. You know they will copy you eventually.

Just like they do when you swear at other drivers.

There are a few causes of a toddler meltdown, a few ways you can get out of them and a few things you can do to avoid an injury bought about by flying toy car. Or a smack around the head with a Buzz Lightyear…that REALLY hurt, by the way!

There Are Two Types Of Arguments When Your Opponent Is A Child

Arguments with kids can either build up over a few hours or explode in a few mindbogglingly ridiculous seconds.

The explosive arguments are usually over something earth-shattering like they can’t find a toy, or they have just spilled their drink because they were not paying attention when leaping about for no particular reason.

They can go from laughing to full-blown meltdown in the time it takes for me to work out why they were laughing in the first place. You’ve got to be quick just to keep up.

These are unavoidable, tantrums are part of Dad life, get used to it.

A toddler disagreement can also happen over time. I call them the brimming arguments.

It takes time to build up. The argument is usually sparked when you are busy trying to get something done and they will not leave you alone.

You tell them you will only be a few minutes. Those minutes turn into a few more minutes because they will not leave you alone to get whatever you need to, done.

Suddenly, an hour has gone by and all you have done is explain to a child that you will only be a few more minutes.

They pick up on your frustration and realize they are pushing your buttons. Now they know how to, and they will ramp up the pressure.

What is it about kids that makes them like to see their parents malfunction?

The second type of arguments are the ones you need to put a stop to as they build up. Find a way around it, find a way that suits both parties.

Hopefully, these tips will help you on the way to keeping cool during arguments with your child. Kids start getting emotional, and they are not yet adept in telling you what the f…. is going on in their heads.


10 Tips To Keep You Cool And Stop You Arguing With Your Child

Here they are, some eureka moments I have picked up on my journey so far as a Dad. I regularly use these to avoid conflicting with my Son.

When reasoning and accountability are removed from an argument, I’m out.


You Gotta Evac, Right Now!

Kids Making You Angry Evacuation

The first job, get out of the area!

To stop you flipping out completely, remove yourself from the situation and give yourself time out.

When you remove yourself from the battle, close your eyes and remember that they are young. They are still learning the world. They may have an issue that they cannot convey to you in a language you will understand!

You can’t argue with a child, don’t even try. Logic and reasoning go out of the window, you have to understand that. Remind yourself of this during your time out.

Sure, you can still hear what is going on, they WANT you to hear. They may even follow you out of the room….lock yourself in the bathroom, do anything to get yourself away.

When you get back in the room with them, you will be much calmer.


It Isn’t Hulk Time! Don’t Get Angry!

Kids Making You Angry Dont Get Angry

Do not get angry….and try not to even raise your voice.

I know it is difficult, but imagine what they will be like in a few years when they learn from you that raising your voice is ‘what you do’ as a fully functioning human being.

Leave the inner Hulk in his box, don’t let him out.

Anyway, raising your voice is only going to get matched by theirs in a fully grown baby/toddler breakdown.

Instead of raising your voice, carry on talking to them on a conversational volume level. Soon they will learn that they do not get anywhere by shouting, and because the parents do not shout, the child is also learning not to shout by copying your cool, calm, suave demeanor.

A recent study has shown that yelling at your Child can result in them becoming more aggressive. It is vital that you show your Child the benefits of calm conflict resolution as early as possible!


Check Yourself, Before You Wreck Your…..Kid

Kids Making You Angry Check Yourself

When you are taking your timeout (see tip 1) think about how you might be adding to their mood. Have a think about anything you are doing to make them annoyed.

Even the smallest thing will kick it off, you know what kids are like.

Think about what you have said to them in the build-up.

As I have already mentioned, kids are getting used to their new emotions. They do not understand how to deal with them yet, because they have not had the experience that will serve to teach them.

Literally, the smallest thing. Think about any looks you gave them, or any hand gestures (Easy….not THOSE hand gestures). Simply putting your hand up to stop them in their tracks has the potential to rile them. It might not be immediate, but once they realize they don’t know how to deal with it, they default to meltdown.


Listen and Respond

Kids Making You Angry Listen

“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” Epictetus

When you return from your oasis of calm, get to their level (physically) and ask them what the problem is, in a calm voice. They will not respond calmly.

Ask them again. And again, but do not raise your voice.

Eventually, you hope, they will tell you. Then at least you can do something about it.

Kids get annoyed a lot, and I quickly noticed that it is because they can’t communicate well. When they do start to communicate well, so many people do not listen.

Seriously, I see it all the time.

A few weeks back, I was sitting in a coffee shop because I turned up early for a meeting. There was a young parent in there with a child, who must have been around 3-4. The kid was trying to ask his parent something, but they were not getting much of a response (nose stuck in phone syndrome).

Eventually, after countless requests for them to listen, the parent snapped back at full volume. It almost blew the froth off the top of my flat white.

That is just bad parenting. LISTEN to your kid. What they are saying will likely be pointless, and not very interesting, but you don’t want them to grow up thinking no-one is interested in what they are saying.


Are They Bored?

Kids Making You Angry Bored

When my Son is bored, I know about it.

He gives me a look, which says to me ‘I’m gonna haunt you for the next few minutes, just to see how you react’.

It is a warning sign. It is in your best interest to find something to do with them before they start pulling your strings and making you dance like Pinocchio.

When I see that look heading my way, I’ll suggest doing something together. Playing with his toys, picking a film to put on. Anything that makes them forget they are bored.

Anything that makes them forget about pushing your buttons.


Give Them Some Learning Time

Kids Making You Angry Tech Them Something

A great way to stop them being bored and kicking off is to sit them down an teach them something.

You need for them to look up to you as someone who is teaching them things. They NEED to look up to you as someone who is capable of teaching them things.

This act will earn you respect and will reduce the chances of conflict when you ask them to do something or to stop doing something.

Put yourselves in their shoes, if someone tells you to stop doing something, and that person is a teacher…a leader, are they more likely to listen to them? What if that person is someone who just tells them to stop doing something because it is annoying? Who are they likely to listen to more?

You are a leader and a teacher to them. Earn their respect by reinforcing their belief.


Are They Tired? Hungry? Sick?

Kids Making You Angry Tired

My Son gets grumpy when he is hungry.

Most kids do.

It acts as a timely reminder to feed them, which I appreciate. If your child seems to be in a bad mood, just ask them if they are hungry. It could be the magic bullet.

Tired? Grumpy! Same thing. If my Son gets up early in the morning, he is going to be grumpy by 16:00. I know this, I Can prepare for it.

Sick? Grumpy! Like I have mentioned above a couple of times, they can sometimes struggle with emotions. When they are sick, they can get emotional.

Check the usual signs of sickness. Ask them if they feel OK if they are old enough to respond (i.e. don’t try it with a 6 months old!). Feel their forehead (It’s is like the tire kick for kids).


Look For The Root Of Their Frustration

Kids Making You Angry Find The Cause

This is a difficult one, and one you might have to do when today’s battle is over.

It is very similar to tip number 2, only in much more detail.

Think about the build-up to the argument and see if you can identify anything that could have sparked it off.

Speak to your partner, to see if they have found the same triggers. Potentially, you could unearth a common theme that you can look to avoid in the future.

Yeh, as I said, this is a difficult one.


Get Your Punishment Ready

Kids Making You Angry – Punishment

If all else fails, the punishment could be the only way.

I am certainly not an advocate of smacking my kid, so I look at other options.

For every action, there must be a reaction. The reaction to their action MUST be justifiable and fair. If they tell you to shut up, don’t be going to their room and packing up all their toys, it is too far. What will you do it they do something a lot worse?

By now, you should really have spoken with your partner and set up some punishments that fit specific crimes.

My punishments include banning him from his iPad, removing one of his favorite toys or putting him on the foot of the stairs, where he is not allowed to move for a certain amount of time.

Think about how your punishment may affect them. I was around a friends house a couple of years back, and his child threw a massive tantrum. He picked her up, took her to bed, shut the door and returned downstairs.

Literally, ten minutes later he was telling me how difficult it is to get her to bed at night.

She began to see her bed as punishment, and couldn’t settle. I gave him some advice. Basically, instead of using her bed, use the bottom of the stairs. A few weeks later, he was finding it much easier to put her to bed.

Although, she now has an abject fear of the stairs!

Ok, I made that last bit up…..

It is all about making your life easier. When a kid is asleep, it is your time. Don’t add to the challenge of getting them asleep by making them scared of it!


Hand Them Over For An Hour

Kids Making You Angry Hand Them Over

Damn, everything else has failed huh?

Still having an argument, with no end in sight?

Be nice to your elderly relatives, they may be the only answer.

If you can, drop them off and take advantage of the free babysitting service. Even if you go to the shop on your own for 30 minutes or so. Have a little bit of time without them.

Reset yourself, then go and pick them up.


Conclusion

Hopefully, I have given you some words of wisdom on how to stay cool when your kids are making you angry.

There really is no point in arguing with a child, so using some self-learned tips, like the ones above, you need to go out of your way to avoid having these ‘heated discussions’.

Common disagreements come at the usual times, bedtime, mealtime, brushing teeth time, we have to leave the park time, I’ve been in the back of a car, when are we going to get there time.

It is always worth checking on a few tips. For instance, I wrote an article tips for how you can get your kids to eat, and there are some great tips on what you can do to make traveling with a toddler on a flight much easierArm yourselves with all the information you can take in.

Forewarned is forearmed, as they say!

Anyway, if you can think of any tips I have missed off from this page, or if I have helped you out in any meltdown situations at home then please get in contact, or leave a reply below!

Good luck Dads!