10 Things A Mother Should Never Say To Her Daughter

What’s wrong with you?

When your daughter is upset, you should ask her what’s wrong to make her feel better.

You need to lose weight/You’re getting fat.

You want your little girl to grow up as an independent woman with high self-esteem.

If you keep telling her to watch her weight and what she’s eating all the time, she’ll become self-conscious. It may also lead to her thinking that not having an ideal body means she’s not beautiful.

You’re dramatic/sensitive for no reason.

It doesn’t matter how silly you think her problems are, do not discount her feelings. Instead, have a heart-to-heart. She must feel like her emotions are valid, and she can talk to you whenever something happens.

Also, let her cry and express her feelings instead of shutting her down.

I told you so

So you warned your daughter to keep away from someone or something. They didn’t listen to you, and something went wrong.

In a situation like that, your first instinct might be to say, ‘I told you so.

If you rub it in her face, she’ll be scared to share anything with you whenever things go sideways.

You’re impossible/You’ll never be any different.

You’ve told her 100 times not to do something, but she keeps making the same mistake. Now, if you tell her she’s never going to change, it implies that she’s incapable of improving things.

Experts suggest not to use words like ‘always’ or “never’ so that your girl has a window of opportunity to improve.

I wish you were more like (insert someone’s name)

Comparing your daughter to their siblings or other kids is one of the most psychologically damaging things you can do to your girl.

It attacks their sense of self-worth and confidence if you say that you want them to be more like somebody else. It stresses them out and lowers their self-esteem.

I’m disappointed in you.

Ouch! It doesn’t matter how disappointed you are; you should never say this to your kids. She certainly needs to know how her actions weren’t ideal and can’t continue doing them.

But saying you’re disappointed in her can make her feel like a total failure.

Instead, tell her how unhappy you feel with what she did and how she can do it differently next time.

Girls can’t do everything/That’s not a woman’s job

I’ll leave you right here.

It’s tempting to threaten her to get her moving when she won’t leave her friend’s house or the supermarket after you’ve repeatedly asked her.

Since you aren’t going to do this, veiled threats like this will do more harm than good.

Also, refrain from saying things that demean her effort or question your love for her.

• I don’t love you.
• You could do better.
• You’re too selfish/needy.
• Stop being such a baby.
• You’re making that up.
• You’re the smartest.
• It’s my way or the highway.
• You don’t want to make me angry.
• You’re dumb/stupid.
• Shame on you.

Body-Shaming Comments

Unfortunately, sometimes our well-intentioned words and actions can have a negative effect. One of the most destructive things mothers can say is to inadvertently contribute to their daughters’ negative body image.

Body-shaming comments, whether intentional or not, can have a profound impact on a young girl’s self-esteem and self-worth.

From an early age, girls are bombarded with messages about how they should look, weigh, and present themselves to the world. And all too often, those messages are negative.

As a result, many girls develop a distorted view of themselves and their bodies, leading to a lifetime of negative self-talk and self-doubt.

When moms comment negatively about their daughter’s bodies or appearances, it can reinforce the idea that there’s something wrong with them and that they’re not good enough. It can also contribute to developing disordered eating habits and an unhealthy preoccupation with weight and body size.

Even positive comments that focus primarily on weight or physical appearance can also be harmful by teaching young girls that their worth is based on their appearance. This can lead to an obsession with diet and an unhealthy focus on weight and appearance.

Instead, mothers should focus on fostering healthy habits, such as clean eating and regular exercise.

Negative Comparisons

It’s only natural to want to see our children succeed and be proud of their accomplishments. But when it comes to daughters, it’s important to be careful about how we express that pride and avoid comparing them to others.

The harm of comparing a daughter to others, whether a sibling, a friend or a random person, can profoundly impact her self-esteem and self-worth.

Constant comparisons can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem, causing her to doubt her abilities and to feel like she’s never good enough. It can also lead to a constant need to compete and to be the best, which can be emotionally and mentally draining.

On the other hand, even positive comparisons can be harmful. For example, praising her for being the “smart one” among her peers can pressure her to maintain that reputation and make her feel as if her worth is tied to her intelligence. This kind of pressure can lead to a fear of failure and discourage her from taking risks and trying new things.

Instead of comparing your daughter to others, you should focus on recognizing and celebrating their unique qualities and talents. By doing so, we are encouraging them to develop their individuality and to be proud of who they are.

This will give them the confidence to try new things, take risks and build a more positive self-image.

In short, as a mom, one of your jobs is to build up and support your daughters, not to tear them down.

Let’s encourage them to be their best selves and to focus on their personal growth and development rather than compare them to others.

I’m proud of you.

We all make mistakes and learn from them. What matters is if we’ve given it our best shot. So if your daughter screws up, let her know you’re proud of her for trying so hard instead of scolding her.

Positive parenting is much better for the soul…

I love you no matter what.

She needs to know that your love is unconditional and doesn’t solely depend on her success or good behavior.

I knew you could do it.

Instead of always pushing her to be perfect, teach her to be consistent and let her know you have faith in her.

Cheer her on and celebrate her wins, however small they are.

You’re on the right track.

Teach her not to give up in the face of adversity, tell her how great she’s doing, and inspire her to keep moving forward.