10 Things A Mother Should Never Say To Her Daughter
It doesn’t matter how tempted you are; there’re few things you should never say to your little girl. Let’s get right into them, shall we?
What’s wrong with you?
You need to lose weight/ You’re getting fat.
You want your little girl to grow up as an independent woman with high self-esteem.
You’re dramatic/sensitive for no reason.
It doesn’t matter how silly you think her problems are, don’t discount her feelings. Instead, have a heart to heart. It is important she feels like her emotions are valid, and she can talk to you whenever something happens.
Also, let her cry and express her feelings instead of shutting her down.
I told you so
So you warned your daughter to keep away from someone or something. They didn’t listen to you, and something went wrong.
In a situation like that, your first instinct might be to say, ‘I told you so.’
If you rub it in her face, she’ll be scared to share anything with you whenever things go sideways in the future.
You’re impossible/ You’ll never be any different.
You’ve told her 100 times not to do something, but she keeps making the same mistake. Now, if you tell her she’s never going to change, it implies that she’s incapable of making things better.
Experts suggest not to use words like ‘always’ or ”never’ so that your girl has a window of opportunity to improve.
I wish you were more like (insert someone’s name)
Comparing your daughter to their siblings or other kids is one of the most psychologically damaging things you can do to your girl.
If you say that you want them to be more like somebody else, it attacks their sense of self-worth and confidence. It stresses them out and lowers their self-esteem.
I’m disappointed in you.
Ouch! It doesn’t matter how disappointed you really are; you should never say this to your kids. She certainly needs to know how her actions weren’t ideal, and she can’t continue doing them.
But, saying that you’re disappointed in her can make her feel like a total failure.
Instead, tell her how unhappy you feel with what she did and how she can do it differently next time.
Behave like a Girl, will you?
Girls can’t do everything/ That’s not a woman’s job
I’ll leave you right here.
It’s tempting to threaten her to get her moving when she won’t leave her friend’s house or the supermarket after you’ve repeatedly asked her.
Since you actually aren’t going to do this, veiled threats like this will do more harm than good.
Also, refrain from saying things that demean her effort or question your love for her.
- I don’t love you.
- You could do better.
- You’re too selfish/needy.
- Stop being such a baby.
- You’re making that up.
- You’re the smartest.
- It’s my way or the highway.
- You don’t want to make me angry.
- You’re dumb/stupid.
- Shame on you.
Negative talk will have a lasting impact.
What mothers should tell their daughters instead
You should encourage your daughter to dream big! To overcome whatever life throws at her with confidence.
Say things like:
I’m proud of you.
We all make mistakes and learn from them. What matters is if we’ve given it our best shot. So if your daughter screws up, instead of scolding her, let her know you’re proud of her for trying so hard.
Positive parenting is much better for the soul…
I love you no matter what.
She needs to know that your love is unconditional and doesn’t solely depend on her success or good behavior.
I knew you could do it.
Instead of always pushing her to be perfect, teach her to be consistent and let her know you have faith in her.
Cheer her on and celebrate her wins, however small they are.
You’re on the right track.
Teach her not to give up in the face of adversity, tell her how great she’s doing, and inspire her to keep moving forward.
Kids have a good handle on making you angry, don’t they?
So, don’t be too hard on yourself. Just remember that you’re shaping her personality with all of your words and actions.
So, whatever you say or imply, let your child know that you’re coming from a place of love, and she’ll turn out just fine.