Being rejected by anyone in life feels like a direct attack on you as a human.
When dealing with rejection from your child, you can multiply that feeling by 100! Rejection may lead to a child preferring dad over mom or the other way around.
You can fix it, though. You can make some moves to be accepted again. In this post, I will look at some ways you can achieve that.
How To Cope With Rejection From Your Child
Forgive Your Child
The first thing you need to do as a parent is accept the situation as it currently stands.
In poker, you deal with the cards that you wake up with. The cards you had a moment ago are no longer relevant.
Part of that acceptance is forgiving your child for rejecting you. Only then can you move on and work towards a resolution. If you still dislike the rejection, then your child will pick up on this, and they may even believe that you are rejecting them!
Hunt The Issue
What caused the rejection in the first place? Can you pinpoint a day, hour, or minute when their feelings suddenly changed?
Delving back into what could have caused this will help you with a plan to resolve it.
I know I mentioned in the 1st tip that you need to deal with this issue because it is NOW, but understanding what caused it is vital.
Take Action Quickly
Please do not delay your action plan; it is essential to get things in motion as soon as possible. However, the longer the rift goes on, the more of a challenge it is to heal it.
It would help to write an action plan down, either on a computer or a notepad. Always go back to the plan to check on progression.
Do Not Beg
You mustn’t act as the victim, especially when dealing with toddlers! If you go to them begging for affection, they will learn this behavior whenever they feel rejected.
You have to remember that while you are dealing with the rejection of a child, your actions will be learned behavior for toddlers.
If you act as the victim or beg for attention and forgiveness, they will take that into their adult life.
Be confident and use inner strength.
It is easy to let your negative emotions spill over into everything you do in life, especially when you feel rejected. But what will that achieve? More negative learned behavior for your child, and further rejection because ‘Mom or Dad is never happy.’
Take steps to improve your general positivity in life. Make a list of things you are happy about, and revisit that list whenever those negative emotions creep in. Your child will want a positive, happy parent who is fun to be around.
In my opinion, respect is not taught through punishment, and it is not taught through fear. Instead, it is taught subliminally to toddlers and other children by respecting themselves before seeking respect from others.
It is a challenge to respect yourself if you have had life problems that have knocked you down. For example, you might lack respect for yourself due to learned behavior as a child. Whatever caused it, the time to fix it is now.
This is a big topic, so scroll down for some ideas on how you can improve your self-respect.
Once you have respect for yourself, you can command respect from your child. This has to happen naturally; it doesn’t mean you have to put your foot down and be a dictator. So please don’t get confused; that is fear and not respect.
Commanding respect is something that you will naturally do when you learn to respect yourself first. It will help if you do not back down from any decisions you make.
If your toddler wants something and you say no, stick to your guns. Backing down will only lose respect.
Do Not Treat Them
It is easy to attempt to resolve rejection issues by treating your child until they like you again. This is counterproductive behavior, do not do it.
Can rejection be healed with a new toy? In my opinion, that will lead you down a path where your child will know what they need to do to get a new toy!
These kids are clever, remember that!
Seek Help If Needed
If you have tried everything and nothing has worked, it could be time to seek some professional advice from a Child Psychologist.
Sure, it will be challenging, but you are not admitting defeat. You are simply asking for some help. There is nothing wrong with asking for help.
Learning To Respect Yourself
Learning to respect yourself is a huge step you can take when dealing with rejection from a child! But, how do you do it?
I’ll start by saying it is a vast topic, but I’ll cover some of the basic steps here.
This is huge because you have a code by which you live when you have morals. The act of breaking these morals will creep into your brain, and you will begin thinking bad about yourself.
Learn To Dismiss Opinions
Some take other people’s opinions to heart, which can be dangerous, especially when their opinions are negative.
I listen to everyone’s opinions, but I only choose to accept the ones I want to.
The bad opinions are simply dismissed!
Speak Well About Yourself
It is vital for your self-confidence that you speak well about yourself.
When you feel a self-critical comment sneaking up in your brain, put a stop to it.
You only deal with positive self comments.
Cast Aside Bad Emotions
Envy, greed, doubt, guilt; words that do not exist in your vocabulary anymore!
Focus on positive emotions. Eventually, they will drown out the bad ones!
One of the biggest things you can do to improve your self-confidence is set goals and achieve them.
Celebrate each goal you achieve, and you will feel fantastic!
How To Help Parents Rejected By Their Child
Let Them Talk
First things first, let them talk about their problems. Your job = listen!
Help Identify The Root Cause
Walk them through their recent activities to help them identify where they could have gone wrong.
Help Resolve The Root Cause
Once you find the root cause, work with them on a plan to resolve it.
Offer support and encouragement.
Cut Them Some Slack
They will need emotional support, so you might need to be a sounding board when they get frustrated.
If they snap at you, give them some slack.
Big Up Their Achievements
Pick up on things they do well and make a big deal out of it.
Reminding them that they get things right will improve their self-confidence, help them get over the child’s rejection, and help them resolve the issue.
When It Is Time To Get Help For Overcoming Parental Rejection
When it gets too much, if you or someone around you notice that you are showing signs of depression, it is time to seek professional help.
This is not a failure. This is simply you asking for some help. Some organizations help people cope with parental rejection. If you did not need them, they wouldn’t exist! Remember that.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why is my child rejecting one parent?
Coping with rejection from a child is both mentally and physically tiring! I am sure that these tips have helped you out but remember that getting over the rejection and resolving it will take time.
Getting over rejection from a child is not something that is going to be done today, but you can use today to make tomorrow better!
The age of the child will dictate how you resolve issues. For example, it can be easier to get over when a toddler or young child rejects you.
Helping parents rejected by their child is a long journey. It is not something that will be over in a short amount of time. It takes a long time for a child to change how they think and feel. Look out for the little wins, and think of it as a marathon with 26 milestones!