When you have your first child, it seems like bonding comes naturally.
You spend all of your time with that little one, and soon enough, you feel like you’ve known them for years.
But what about when you have your second child? Suddenly, all the bonding advice doesn’t seem to apply to you anymore!
Don’t worry – Having been through this already, I’ve got you covered.
In this blog post, I’ll give tips for bonding with your second child, even when your first child is still hanging off your ankles!
Bonding With Your Second Child – My Guide
Your new child is likely to need much more time and attention from you and your partner straight off the bat.
For me, that led to a disappointment that I couldn’t devote as much attention to my first. That feeling can impact the bond you have with your second child!
Here are my tips for building a strong bond with your second child because it is different from building a bond with your first child!
Skin-to-skin is one of the biggest things you can do to build a strong bond!
As a dad or a mom, you should start this as soon as possible.
Don’t compare your new child to your first
When you have your second child, it can be hard to bond with them as you did with your first child. This is because every child is different, and you must figure out what works best for your new family.
Some parents try to compare their new child to their first, but this can be harmful and make the new child feel like they’re not good enough.
Instead, try to think of each child as their person and give them the attention they need.
Set aside some one-on-one time with both kids
One of the best ways to bond with your second child is to set aside some one-on-one time with both kids. This way, you can give each child the attention they need and deserve. Plus, it’ll allow you to get to know your second child and forge a strong bond with them.
So go ahead and set aside some time each week to spend with each child individually. You can read books together, play games, or chat about whatever’s on their mind.
Set aside time to spend with both kids together
Playtime, mealtime, or even just taking a walk together, spending time with both kids together strengthens the bond between you and both kids and between both of your children. So itSo it is important to remember that!
Spending time together as a family will help your children grow closer and create lasting memories that will build stronger bonds than before.
With your firstborn, you may have spent hours bonding before bedtime as you read stories and sang lullabies. But with a second child, things can be a little more hectic.
If you can, you should share the bedtime routine with your partner. For example, if you spread the bedtime routine (which I do), you can cover both bedtimes.
If they go to bed simultaneously, switch up every day to share the load with your partner.
It’s not just bedtime; it is the preparation. Reading a book, having a bath, and brushing your teeth, are all things you can do to build a strong bond.
Encourage them to be themselves
Encouraging them to be themselves is one of the best things you can do for your second child.
Every child is unique, and it’s important to let them express themselves in their way. This can be a challenge for some parents, who may feel like they need to compare their children or try to make them all the same.
But ultimately, it’s essential to let each child be their person.
Give your second baby plenty of love and attention (and don’t forget your first)
Giving your second child as much love and attention as possible is essential. Your new baby needs to feel wanted and loved just as much as your first child does.
Try to spend some one-on-one time with them every day, even just for a few minutes. This will help them feel special and bonded to you.
Sometimes your attention will be dragged away for one kid only, but try to share this time out. Be close to both kids.
One of the most important things to remember when bonding with your second child is being patient. This may be especially challenging if you have an older child who wants all your attention.
It’s important to remember that your new baby also needs bonding time with you and that it will take some time for you to get to know each other.
Celebrate each and every milestone
Celebrate each and every milestone, small or large, as a chance to connect with your child and strengthen the bond between you.
This could mean making a big deal out of the first time they roll over, say something, crawl, walk, or any of the big milestones!
Whatever it may be, take advantage of these bonding moments. Smile a lot! Celebrate as a family too.
Prepare yourself mentally and emotionally before the baby arrives
When you have a second child, it is important to be prepared mentally and emotionally before they come. This means you should think about how you will feel and what you will do when the new baby arrives.
It is also helpful to talk to other parents who have gone through the same experience. I didn’t do that, but I should have!
Give yourself time to adjust
It’s important to give yourself time to adjust to your new role as a parent. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you feel overwhelmed or exhausted.
It takes time to get used to a new baby, and it’s normal to feel like you’re not bonding with your second child immediately.
Don’t beat yourself up if you make a mistake. We all make mistakes. How you react to a mistake defines who you are as a parent and as a person.
Take advantage of all the resources available to you
Many parents have been in your shoes and shared tips for bonding with your second child. Utilize all the resources available to you, whether reading bonding books together or asking your friends and family for advice.
You can also join groups to discuss these issues with people who have been through the same thing.
Bonding with your second child can be challenging, but taking advantage of all the resources available to you is crucial. Utilizing bonding books or talking with friends and family can help immensely. Don’t be afraid to ask for help bonding with your second child!
Finally, congratulations on your new addition! Having another child is awesome, even if it doesn’t feel like it now. When I had my second son, my life was complete.
If you’re feeling a little lost and don’t know where to start, these tips should help you build a stronger bond between you and your second baby.
Every child is different, and each parenting journey is unique. The key thing you need to do is spend time with both kids and smile at them a lot. It could just be as simple as that!
If you’re feeling anxious or uncertain about how to form a strong bond with your new addition, don’t worry – you’re not alone. It is a common issue that you need to work out.
At least the second time around means you have more experience!