Dads go through a gamut of emotions before (preparing for being a dad) and after the arrival of a child.
It’s not easy for a man to see the woman he loves screaming in pain and writhing in agony.
Trust me, I know!
However, everything changes and the world seems a far happier place when eyes catch sight of those tiny hands and little feet.
For a new father, this cycle that traverses through emotions, such as happiness, joy, frustration, exhaustion, hope, fear, etc., never ends.
There are days when fathers feel ecstatic, and then there are also days when the newborn father frustration phase reaches its zenith.
Most fathers find it challenging to deal with this frustration on an each-day basis.
We assure you that if you are a dad frustrated with your newborn, you will be in a better position to deal with your emotions by the time you have reached the end of this article.
Newborn Father Frustration? Here’s What You Need To Know And Do.
If you are a dad dealing with some frustration with your newborn, follow these tips.
1. You Can’t Control a Newborn
New dads, here’s the first thing you need to know: you can’t control a newborn.
You may have baby-proofed your apartment, but your newborn will still find a way to get out. You may spend hours and days trying to align your sleeping schedule with theirs, but they will still get up at 3 a.m. and demand your attention.
They will grunt, cry, poop, and pee around the house (by the way, here’s a rookie dad’s guide to newborns)
If you are a dad frustrated with a newborn child, stop trying to control an infant.
Instead, learn to laugh at and laugh with them when they do things you find stupid.
2. Learn to Comfort Your Child
Learn some skills that will make your life easier.
To make your baby feel secure, learn to swaddle them in a blanket. Once you have fed them, hold them in your arms and turn their body on the left side.
This exercise helps with digestion. Find a sound or music that calms your newborn child and use it when nothing else works.
Walk them in a body carrier or learn to comfort them in a baby rocker. If you want to soothe your child, the first thing you must do is connect with them.
These small skills will allow you to connect better with your child.
3. Admit You Are Struggling
Parenting is an art and a skill set that people develop over time.
People aren’t born parents; they learn to be parents. Fatherhood is an acquired skill set. It is, thus, entirely okay if you are struggling to be a father.
You will learn all the tricks you will need up your sleeves, but this won’t happen in a day.
Once you accept you are struggling, you will be more open to seeking advice and help from others.
4. Ask for Advice
Here’s a crucial tip: ask for advice. There is nothing wrong with it.
Speak with fathers and mothers of other newborns. Remember, all of you are in the same boat and, therefore, hold great potential to make each others’ lives better.
Seek help and provide it too. You are likely to know tons of guys who have also been through this newborn father frustration.
Talking to grandparents is another good idea. They have already been through the journey you are just starting. Grandparents can give great tips and suggestions.
Basically, reach out to someone… anyone!
5. Be Prepared
All new dads, here’s another thing you must remember: always be prepared.
This essentially means you must have everything you might need while dealing with a newborn child. Pacifiers, teethers, food, diapers, bibs, blankets, and baby wipes should be within a hand’s reach.
You must know clearly where the bottles and extra clothes are.
Always stock up on medicines prescribed by your baby’s doctor and have a few emergency numbers by your side if you need help.
Put a new dad survival kit together immediately too!
6. Learn Your Newborn’s Routines
Newborns have their routine.
They sleep up to 20 hours a day and may decide to wake up at 4 a.m. Nothing you can do will change this.
Newborn father frustration arises when new dads attempt to change their child’s routine, which is a futile exercise.
Babies decide when they want to sleep, eat, and play. As a new dad, all you can do is learn these routines and work your way around them.
You will have to wait for your baby to grow at least a few months old before you can begin to condition him into a routine that compliments yours.
Until then, let the baby rule.
If getting your baby to sleep leads to frustration, you should check out The Baby Sleep Method by trained Psychologist Mary-Ann Schuler. It is an awesome way of settling a baby!
7. Leave the Room
This advice may seem like a horrible thing to do, but it is not. When you are in the thick of things, it becomes easier for emotions to disarm you of logic completely.
If you get angry as a parent, it can lead to repercussions and actions you may regret later.
When you feel frustrated, the best thing to do is remove yourself from the situation and gather your thoughts.
You will come back with a peaceful and calm mind and will be in a better position to deal with your baby.
8. Blow off Some Steam
Here is the essential advice you will ever get: find some time to blow off the steam. It is one of the most important things you can do to cope with your parenting life’s newborn father’s frustration phase!
Dealing with a newborn is exhausting and can take a toll on your mental and physical health. It is, thus, crucial that all new parents take some time off to blow off the steam.
Take a short vacation or maybe go out on an hour-long date with your partner.
Reach out to your parents and friends and ask them to babysit your child while you are away. Make a routine: once or twice a week, step out with your friends and do something that relaxes you.
Your partner can look after the child while you are taking a break. However, once you feel mentally rejuvenated, help your partner do the same.
Is it Normal for Dad to Feel Frustrated With a Newborn?
Yes, it is totally normal for dads to get frustrated with a newborn.
Let’s face it, newborns can’t tell you what the problem is, they can’t feed themselves, and some of them cry repeatedly.
Sometimes, whatever you try and do just straight-up doesn’t work. You can hug them, rock them, sing to them, feed them, change them. They still cry.
Some days it feels like an impossible task to comfort a newborn, and that can lead to the ‘newborn father frustration phase’.
What makes it worse is when you need to work with a fuzzy head and a ringing in your ears! You are still expected to do a good job too…
The most important part is how you deal with the frustration. Talk to someone, get some tips on how to deal with a newborn.
Ultimately, the newborn phase does not last forever. And before you know it, your little one will be a toddler, and you will have tons of other new stuff to get frustrated about!
Conclusion
Few things change a man’s life as much as becoming a father. It’s daunting to be wholly responsible for someone’s else life.
Raising a child isn’t easy.
Coping with the ‘newborn father frustration’ phase is one of your first challenges!
As a father, you will always switch between hope and fear and happiness and maybe some sadness.
When you are a parent, good and bad days will follow each other.
However, you can say one thing with certainty, and it’s this:
There is no better joy than watching your child grow before your eyes.
So, enjoy it while it lasts.
